Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The booze effect

Disclaimer : MDH Masala added in good quantities.

The best thing about a booze party is not the booze itself, but how people starts behaving once they have gulped in the necessary quantity. Even the most introvert guy opens up his heart and shares his "pains" and "struggles" of his life (even though he would be struggling to stand on his 2 legs).

The other day our batch had organized a goodbye treat to our juniors. We wanted to make it a rocking and a memorable party and wanted everyone to join in the DJ. But most of the juniors were shy and I had to pull most of them out forcibly to make sure they too joined in the DJ party - an action for which I paid for dearly once the booze party started at 9:30 pm. Once the booze started taking effect, the hunter became the hunted. The very guys whose pants I was pulling, now started pulling my pants to join them for DJ. My cries of  "I am your senior, show some respect" or "Don't pull my pants, it already torn underneath" or "Dude, unlike you, I have been dancing all this time and has no more stamina left" fell on deaf ears.

For one guy, the booze effect manifested in a different form. He comes to me with a smile on his face and says

"Thank you for such a wonderful party. You guys rock". Then he goes back to drinking

After 5 minutes, he comes back again and with the same smiling expression, says

"Thank you for such a wonderful party. You guys rock", after which he goes back and continues drinking

After 5 minutes, he again comes back. But this time, even before he could open his mouth I replied

" Yeah right, we rock"

His smile vanished and he blinked for 2 seconds, opened his mouth to say something but then thought otherwise and went back, never to return again.

Then there was this another guy, who was having a tough time having his dinner. He was looking very sadly at the chicken leg on his plate. I looked at him

"Hey why are you not eating the food. Does it taste bad"

He turned around and looked at me, looking totally lost.

"I was just wondering how there are 5 plates now when I remember taking only 1 plate"

"Err but there is only one plate on the table", I asked in a confused voice.

"Really!!!....You sure?"

"Of course I am sure"

"Hmm then I guess that explains"

"Explains what?"

"Explains why my hands goes through the plate every time I try to pick up this chicken leg. I gave up after trying for half an hour"

 As the party was nearing to an end and everyone was having a great time, there was suddenly a loud cry from somewhere in the dancing crowd.

"ANAND...WHERE IS ANAND...."

Everyone started looking around to see from where the voice was coming from. All of us got a shock when we saw the owner of the voice - It was our "Chinese-guy-with-Indian-visa" - Mahesh Kamtess with an empty whiskey bottle in his hand.

"ANAND...WHERE IS MY ANAND...."

I came close to Mahesh and whispered into his ear

"Usne tera bhi wallet churaya kya...saale ne do din pehele mera sau rupaya churaya tha"

"Chup kamine, Anand ke baare mei aisi neech baatein...%&#@!$*&^#E@"

What followed was 2 minutes of sweet sounding music for which I had to spent the next one hour cleaning my ears. Meanwhile Kamtess continued his search for Anand. He soon found him.

"ANAND....ANAND..."

Anand , who was enjoying his dinner, looked startled on hearing the voice and started looking around to see what was happening. Mahesh went and occupied the seat near Anand. And with a twinkle in his eyes, a smile on his face, he looked at Anand.

"Yes?", Anand asked in a  surprised tone.

"Do you know something dear. You are the best sportsman ever. Without you, we would not have won PG Sports this year...You single handedly got PG sports Volleyball gold for us...you are a stud...you are God...you are great...you are...you are...arre I am not getting words to describe you".

Then turning to face the "audience" who were enjoying this scene he shouted

"Koi tho dictionary laake de be"

Then turning back to Anand

"Don't worry eh, Dictionary is on it's way. I will find out the right words for you in just a second. Dictionary aane de".

Anand did not know whether to cry or smile.

Just then Kamtess caught Ajitav gulping down the 100th scoop of icecream

"Saale @%&#^$!#$ khaana unlimited hei ka matlab ye thodi hei ki poora icecream tu khud khale"

"Sorry Shaktimaan", Ajitav replied back and then continued his eating.

Suddenly Kamtess remembered that Ajitav was our PG sports Rep from our class

"Oyee Ajitav, iss baar best sportsman ka award Anand ko milna chahiye..."

Then turning to Anand, with a smile on his face

"Don't worry eh, I have arranged for the best sportsman award for you", patting Anand on his shoulders.

Ajitav, who was half way through gulping down his 101st scoop, blinked

"Award?What award....there is no such award"

"If there is no such award, then make one you idiot", Kamtess shouted back

Turning back to Anand

"Don't worry eh, Foolish fellow, he doesn't know anything. Abhi bhi bacha hei"

Anand was all smiles. I guess he must have felt happy that atleast someone was aware of his sports contributions and sacrifices he made for our batch. By around 12 midnight the rocking party came to an end. The hero of the party - Mahesh Kamtess - had to be airlifted to his room, along with many other Martyrs, who sacrificed their consciousness that day, for the cause of making our goodbye party a success.