Saturday, April 17, 2010

Panku ban gaya corporate-man

"Panku, a letter has come for you from your company. I have given it to Macha. Collect it from him", I pinged Panku.

"Sahiii. Aaya re aaya, mera offer letter aaya", Panku cried in excitement.

After about 10 minutes , Panku pinged me.

"Yaar this is not an offer letter....it's a regret letter", Panku cried.

"What!!! How can that happen. C'mon there must be some mistake", I tried to console Panku.

But Panku was inconsolable.

"They couldn't have written it in more clear words. Boohoo.....", Panku started crying

"What have they written in the letter", I asked.

Panku pinged me the contents of the letter

"We are sorry to inform you that we cannot appoint you for the post of Member of Technical Staff which we had offered you at the time of recruitment.

The decision has come following the huge economic setback seen by the company during the current financial year.

We will open our recruitments in December 2010. You can appply to our company in December 2010"


"Wow Macha is good", I thought.

Flashback : one hour back

 "Oye Macha, tell Panku that his offer letter will come tomorrow. The HR has send a mail saying so", I pinged Macha.

"Hmm Panku is finally getting is offer letter is he? Now let's see, do I see some fun here?"

"What is the fun in his getting an offer letter", I asked

"Hmmm...do one thing- usko ye math bolna ki uska offer letter aaya hei...usko bol de ki uska regret letter aaya hei", Macha's evil mind started working furiously.

"Aree he will commit suicide if he hears something like that", I protested.

"Na re, nothing like that".

"Magar aise kyu karna hei bhai".

"Yaar, whenever I ask him what will happen if the company sends him a regret letter, instead of an offer letter, he says if something like that ever happens he will put an atom bomb on my head....Atomic Energy Commission ka CEO uska mama samach reka hei".

Thus Macha coerced me into this evil plan with his "forceful" arguments on why Panku needs to be taught a lesson - never put atom bombs on Macha's head.

Thus the ingenious plan was born. Accordingly, Macha was entrusted with making the most convincing regret letter ever made and I, being the DPN (Dept Placement Nominee) had to convince Panku that the letter was indeed send by the company.

Back to the present

"Yaar after reading the letter one thing is clear", I told Panku.

"What is it? ", Panku asked hopefully.

"You are screwed", I answered "truthfully"

"Boohooo mummmyyyy. Ab mei kya karu yaar", Panku started crying even louder.

Poor Panku, he was at his wits end.


He didn't know what to do. He started debating whether he should buy a rope or a bottle of rat poison, both of which will burn a hole in his pocket, or whether the free of cost jumping-from-the-window would be the better option.

Finally, when Panku said he has made his decision and that he was going to H12 shop to buy some ropes, I spilled the beans. I revealed to Panku our deadly plan codenamed "The Macha-project"

After hearing all this, Panku was back to full josh.

"Abe kamine macha, agar mera letter nehi aaya hota tho tere sir pe bomb fod deta mei"

What to say. Some people never learn their lessons. But Panku is now a very happy man.