Saturday, September 18, 2010

Friends forever

Disclaimer : This post has some naughtiness to it. In case you are one of those who doesn't like such posts, I advise you not to go any furthur.

Saurabh bhai, the most enthu guy in our group, as this pic shows, was on the top of the world. Why not? After all he got his long desired guitar, with his own money. But as some wise man has said (and obviously that wise man is me) sometimes people with high IQ fail to express their emotions in reasonable quanity. What else can explain his running from one end of the road to another, shouting "I got my first real six strings...I got my first real six strings" with the neighbors watching with their mouth wide open and wondering what the hell was happening. Shah Rukh Khan must not have been so happy after getting a six packs as compared to our Saurabh bhai's happiness in getting a six strings. Even the word, "Guitar", which our ancestors had invented to describe this beautiful instrument, went for a toss. Somehow he thought the phrase "six strings" suited it better.

But the tragedy of this story is not this, it transcends all this. As mentioned before, being a high IQer, he didn't just want the neighbors to know about his buying a new guitar...he wanted the whole world to know about it. And what's the best way to do that? Of course update one's Gmail status!!!. But in his excitement, he did one mistake...I would say a rather serious error in judgement considering his high IQ...he used Akshat's Wipro laptop!!! Now Wipro laptop is after all Wipro laptop...nothing can beat it...you type something, something else gets typed. Poor Saurabh, he wanted the entire world to know about his first love. But his first love, as the world came to know, was this. Well you can be sure he will never use a Wipro laptop ever in his life again.

The debate about who is better : humans or machines have been going on for a long time without no clear answer. Well finally that puzzle has been solved beyond any doubt. The proof for such a conclusion has been presented below :-

Akshat Saxena is a very brilliant chap. He was the gold medalist for topping the university exams during his Btech days. This speaks volumes of how bright this young chap is. Though the average intelligence of human race is much below the caliber of our friend, he is one of the parameters used in this proof just to show how such a brilliant chap fades in intelligence when compared to a machine. Akshat, like any other homosapien, loves tagging himself in his orkut profiles. For eg: this picture is an example of human intervention in picture tagging. Now let's see an example of how efficient a machine is if no human intervention happens. The result is this. The efficiency with which a machine accurately tagged Akshat puts to rest any doubt whatsoever as to who the ultimate winner is in this debate.

It is always a surprise when you come to know that one of your closest friends got married and he/she didn't even inform you about it. The surprise factor grows exponentially large if the groom himself is not aware that his marriage is over. Yups that's right, my marriage is over. You guys need to thank my loving roomies for it. They couldn't bear to see me remain single anymore, so they took matters into their own hands and got me a lovely wife. In case you are one of the poor souls who were not invited for my marriage and thus for not fortunate enough to witness my grand wedding, join the club, I too wasn't invited for the same. Uploading this marriage photo for all those who missed my marriage. Please bless us everyone.

It's been a while since I have had any contact with Ajitav, so one fine day I thought will ping him. As usual, he had a busy symbol with a "Working hard" status on his Gmail. Seconds after pinging him, I got his response. He too was happy to have seen me after a long time. I asked him how his work in Amazon was.

"It's rocking dude. I am enjoying every bit of it. My manager says I am a great talent and that a bright career awaits me", he replied.

"Wow dude, you must have made some impression. Is your work so critical", I asked him.

"Oh you have no idea how critical it is. In fact, my work is so critical that it affects the entire Amazon organization".

I started feeling jealous. Just at the start of his career, this guy is making such huge strides. "So what is your position in your company", I asked.

"Well it's a bit complicated one and hard to explain. I will do one thing. I will send you a picture that was taken during one of the busiest times in my office. A picture speaks a thousand words right?".

And thus he sent me this picture. It is then that I understood how true Ajitav's words were. His work really is critical for Amazon.




Sunday, September 12, 2010

God proposes man disposes

Disclaimer : A totally fictional story with fictional characters. 

"Kudiakose, can you please come with me"

"No Krishi, I am busy...you see I am working on a critical project right now, so don't disturb me"

Krishi peeped into Kudiakose's laptop. Kudiakose's entire screen was filled with chat windows from Neena, Meena, Deena and Maina.

"Err which of these projects are critical", Krishi asked.

"Still deciding", Kudiakose replied, continuing with his multi-project management.

"Plz Kudiakose, I really need your help. It's a matter of life and death for me"

"What is it", Kudiakose asked, getting irritated. Kudiakose doesn't like being disturbed when he's busy with his projects.

"You see Kudiakose, one of my relatives have brought a proposal to my parents. Now my parents have asked me to go and meet this girl. I am feeling very nervous and I don't want to go alone. Can you please accompany me".

Kudiakose suddenly jumped from his seat.

"Did you say you are going to meet a girl", Kudiakose asked with his eyebrows raised and eyeballs almost popping out of the socket. "Why didn't you tell me this before Krishi. Come let's go and meet her. And don't be nervous, I am the there for the you".

"But if you are busy with your projects, then I can understand. I will go alone"

"What!!!..no no no....how can I leave you alone in such a dangerous situation. After all what are friends for. Just gimme a second, let me dress up and come".

After an hour or so Kudiakose came out of the dressing room. Krishi couldn't believe what he saw. Kudiakose was completely transformed. He was wearing a suit, a tie, formal pants, formal shoes fitted to perfection with ray-ban goggles and his face fully white washed with powder - somewhat similar to this  random picture of a dashing young guy that I found in the internet.

"Err Kudiakose hope you are aware that I am the one who is going to see the girl"

"I know I know. That is why I have worn a simple dress".

"This is simple dress?"

"You want it to be more simple?I can do that if you want"

"No no  no this is more than enough simplicity. Let's go"

After 20 minutes or so they reached a garden like place.

"Ok we have reached our destination", Krishi informed Kudiakose. Kudiakose looked around. All he could see was grass,plants, trees and some dogs.

"Where is your project...err I mean your girl???", Kudiakose asked.

"Look over there". Kudiakose looked at the direction pointed to by Krishi. He could see a boy and a girl standing at a distance.

"Who is this guy", Kudiakose asked

"No idea", Krishi replied

Krishi waved to her. Both the girl and the guy waved back and walked towards them.

"Hi you must be Krishi. Myself Madhuri and this is my brother Mahesh", the girl said shaking Krishi's hands. Then seeing Kudiakose, she asked Krishi "Err and this is?"

Even before Krishi could open his mouth, Kudiakose answered, "Manukkus...Kudiakose Manukkus"

"Hi, nice meeting you Mr Manukkus".

"Please call me Kukdi. Friends call me Kukdi only", Kudiakose replied, looking down, his face blushing and drawing God knows what, on the ground, using his feet.

Krishi was feeling very nervous. He didn't know how or what to talk to Madhuri. Madhuri was smiling at Krishi. Krishi, in turn, was looking at Kudiakose for some help. Kudiakose, meanwhile, was busy looking at Madhuri.

"So how was your day", Madhuri asked, trying to start a conversation with Krishi.

"Oh his day was good, how was yours", Kudiakose replied even before Krishi had a chance to reply.

"Err it was good", Madhuri replied, wondering why Kudiakose was answering instead of Krishi. "So Krishi, what are you currently doing"

"Talking to you of course...ha ha ha...what a joke what a joke", Kudiakose started laughing at his own "joke"

Madhuri gave a what-is-this-nutcase-doing-here look to Krishi. Krishi started sweating. The poor guy did not know what to do. Krishi wished someone could put him in a rocket and send him to a far off planet.

Krishi suddenly had a brilliant idea. He turned to Kudiakose

"Kudiakose, I think Madhuri's brother is standing alone, bored, without any company".

"Yeah, I totally forgot about him. Poor guy".

Krishi smiled. He could see that his plan was working. Atlast Krishi will be able to get rid of Kudiakose and have some moments alone with Madhuri.

Kudiakose turned to Mahesh.

"Mahesh, I think Krishi wants to talk to you". Then turning back to Madhuri, Kudiakose continued "So Madhuri, did I tell you about the time when Krishi unknowingly ventured into a ladies toilet. No? O god the story is so funny you have to listen to this. Last year when........"

Krishi meanwhile was banging his head on a nearby tree.

And thus goes the story of how Krishi met Madhuri. I guess the climax of this story is predictable, like any Bollywood movie. Both of them got married and have been living happily ever since :- Krishi with Radha and Madhuri with Ganesh. Last heard, Kudiakose is still busy with his projects.