Friday, May 4, 2018

Malayalam Translation

Non mallus please excuse Manglish ahead

"Eda mone kutta ninte oru sahayam venam enikku"

Ente mukham onnu chulungi. Ravile swasthamayi choriyum kuthi irikkan samathikkilla ee Amma.

"Entha amme karyam. Njan busy aanu"

"Enthonnu busy. Ravile muthal angottum ingottum theraa paara nadapalle ninte pani"

"Ammmmeeeeee. Oru bhudhi jeeviye ingane chodyam cheyyaruthu. Pala pala logakaryangale patiyulla charchakal ee masthishkathinullil nadannukondirikkuvanu. Don't disturb mom"

"Kutta ennu vilicha naavu kondu enne vere onnum vilipikallu"

"Oho atrakkayo. Enna ini sahayichittu thanne baakki karyam. Enthu sahayam aanu ammakku vendathu, c'mon tell me Amma tell me"

"Dei over akkaathe"

Amma explain cheyaan thudangi.

"Athayathu ramana namudey college Whatsapp groupil elavarkkum oru assignment thannittundu. Athu..."

Amma paranju teerunathinu mumbe njan potti chirichu.

"Hahaha ningal old peoplesinum whatsapp groupo"

Amma cheranju. Nan verandu. Amma thudarnu.

"Apol njan paranju vanathu ellavarkkum oru task thanittundu. A day in my life enna topicine patti ezhuthanam. Sambhavam njan athu ezhuthi theerthu, pakshe post cheyaan poyapozhanu arinjathu malayalathil venam post cheyaan ennu. Kashtakalathinu njan englishil aanu ezhuthiyathu. Nee athu onnu malayalathil aakki tha"

Pinaeeee englishile ezhuthu madaamma, njan manassil vicharichu, pakshe onnum mindiyilla.

"Sheri aa post onnu kaanikku njan onnu vayichu nokatte"

"Dhe ithanu post".

A day in my life

         I like to begin my day with a brisk morning walk at the Trivandrum museum. This not only keeps me physically fit but also helps me socialize with my friends. This gives me all the energy needed for the rest of my day. On the way back, I spend some quality time with my grandson and reach home by 8.30 am. When retired life started to get boring, I began attending a few classes like Sanskrit or Geetha for 2 hours either in the morning or evening. This not only helps me broaden my knowledge  but also provides an additional avenue to socialize and stay connected with my friends. Well my husband teases me saying that I would have reached greater heights if I had the same enthusiasm back in college. Rest of my day goes by in cooking, learning Sanskrit for my exam, reading newspaper, glancing through  various social media, etc. All of this however takes a back seat whenever there are other engagements like family get-togethers or tours or when my son visits me from Bangalore. I prefer not to depend on anyone else for my everyday needs and enjoy doing them myself. I believe in enjoying life to the maximum possible. I end my day  with a good sound sleep at around 10:30 pm. I would like to end this note by expressing my sincere gratitude to the almighty whose blessings have always helped me enjoy my life to the fullest.


"Ithu ammakku thanne cheytudei. Ithinu enne polathe malayalam pandithante avashyam undo Moms".

"Pandithan my foot. Pathhaam class malayalam pareeksha nirangi alleda nee pass aaye"

"Athu etho vevaram kettavan aanu ente paper correct cheythatu, alathe che nan malayalathil puli ale"

Ammayude kannukalil thee jwalakal kandu njan netti.

"Angayudei maha pandithyam onnum itu olathanda. Korachu eriyum puliyum oke itu oru naadan thanimayodei vayikaan sughamula reethiyil aaki thanaal mathiye. Enikku current bill adakaan pokaanondu alengil njan thanne cheythene. Innu thanne ayakukayum venam"

Ee moodil Ammaye pinakunathu sheri alla ennu enikku manassilayi. Nan payye plate maati.

"Ok ok njan onnu nokatte. Amma adyamayitu oru sahayam chodichitu njan cheythilennu venda"

"Sheri apol njan erangunnu. Nee maatangal okke varuthiyittu ente phonil ninnu ayachu koduthere"

Amma door thurannu. Oru nimisham entho alochichu. Enittu tirinju enne nokki

"Kolam aakalu"

"Che amma enthonu parayunathu. Njan suppress aaki tharaam"

"Athu thaneyada enteyum pedi."

Amma erangiyathinu shesham njan post onnum kuudey vayichu nokki. Hmm eriyum puliyum with naadan touch venamale. Ok namukku sheri aakki kodukkam.


Oru ara manikkur kondu karyam cheithu teerthu ready aaki njan ammedei groupil post cheytu.

Ekadesham oru munnu naalu manikuur aayi kaanum. Nan oru alarcha kettu njetti.

"Eda samadrohi eda vivaradoshiii"

"Chettaa chettane amma vilikunnu"

"Ente kaalaa"

Eh ithu enne analo. Nan ezhunettu door thurannu

"Entha amme karyam"

"Enthonna karyamenno. Enthonada nee post cheytu vachekunne"

"What is the matter mom. Nan eriyum pulliyum oke cherthu oru naadan reethiyil thane analo itathu"

"Ithanoda ninte eriyum pulliyum"

"Actually enthannu Amme prashnam"

"Olakedei muudu. Ninte post vayichitu ente kuutukaaru vilichu chodikuva enikku asugham valathum ondo, thalayil adi kitiyo enoke"

"Eh angane varaan vazhi illalo"

Amma mobile thuranu post eduthu vayichu thudangi


Ente jeevithathinte oru divasam

         Ennum ravile njan ente friendsine kanaan Trivandrum zooil pokarundu...njan nadannu aanu pokunathu athu kondu full time fit aanu...Zooile friendsine kanda shesham njan nere ente mootha monte veetilotu vechu pidikkum...enthina...ente monte appiye kanaan.. thalle avane kandal pinae  annathe diwasam kolaanu ketta...whoa thane... Retired life bore adichu thudangiya kaalam. Engane bore adikathe irikkum ravile ezhunelkumpol kanunnathu kettiyonte mugham...kani bestu alle...enna pinae bore adi mataan oru variety aayikotte ennu njanum vicharichu... angane aanu njan Samskritham classinum Geeta classinum pooyi thudangiyathu...pandathe munimaar ezhuthi vachekunna thallu kelkaan enthu rasam aanenno...sho enikku orkumpole romanjam varunnu...ee thallu kelkaan varunna vere kure payalukaleyum parichayapettu ketta...ente kettiyon parayum ingane padichirunnengil ninakku IAS kitti poyene ennu...njanum vicharichu sheri thane...angane aayirunengil iyale ketti jeevitham kattapoga aakendi varumayirunno...baaki divasam njan enthengilum oke olathukayum ondakukayum cheyum ketta...Edekke okke Bangaloril ninnu oru tendi valinju keri varum shalyapeduthaan...anneram avane teettipottaan thane enikku neram...apol ee paripadikal onnum nadakkarila...enikku ellaam ottaku cheyananu istam...enikku oruthanteyum sahayam vendadei...Urvashi Urvashi take it easy policy athanu enteyum policy...life max enjoy cheyuka...10:30 pm kazhinaal ente battery teerum...pinae kuurkkam vali thudangum...ellaam mukalil irikunna payalinte kripa"

Ithil enthaname prashnam. Ammedei Kuutukarkku simple posts isthamalla, dont they like

Amma kannum urutti adukalayilotu pooyi. Entho ammi kallenno vettukathiyenno entho paranjathu pole thonni.








Sunday, January 7, 2018

Dad Zuckerberg

It was a goody goody Sunday afternoon which I had planned to spent doing what I knew best - Doing Nothing.  I was on vacation in my hometown. The afternoon temperature was just right for a siesta. A light breeze was flowing in the room. A total bliss. A heaven on earth, that is what my room was that day.

Just when you thought nothing could go wrong today, my dad came into my room with a very excited face.

"My son today I have decided to take the plunge".

"Into what?", I asked, with a dread on my face.

"Into the dark belly that is the digital world. And you are the lucky bastard who gets to help me take my first e-step. You, my son, has been bestowed the honours to teach me how to create my own email id. Give me a high five!!!"

The world around me started crumbling down. There goes my Sunday rejuvenation plan.

"Ok Dad out with it. What's the real reason for this sudden change in your attitude towards this dark belly. Till yesterday you were satisfied with your own belly. What changed in the last 24 hours"

My Dad looked straight at me. He had the looks of a person contemplating whether I could be trusted enough with the biggest secret of his life. After a minute of intense scrutiny, he seems to have made up his mind.

"Ok son this is the deal. That lady over that whom you have been calling mother for the last 30 years of your life, she seems to think I am a good for nothing piece of shit when it comes to anything that remotely resembles digital - and that includes this TV remote also. I plan to prove her wrong. I have chosen you to guide me in my quest to digital literacy".

"Oh great can I get more lucky", I thought.

Even though the catalyst for the same might have been to score an extra point over his arch rival in this competition called marriage, nevertheless deep inside I was feeling proud that my father was ready to upgrade himself even at this age.

"Ok dad let's do it. We will start by creating a gmail id for you. Now to create a gmail id, we need to first open the browser and go to www.gmail.com"

"Sure no problem that should be easy", my dad replied. "Just one doubt. What the hell is a browser".

"Oh boy", I realized with a heavy heart.

"Ok Dad let's start all over. Before we start using the computer you must know what a computer is. This is a computer screen and is a keyboard. There are keys on the keyboard. You can use..."

"Stop it!!!", my dad shouted suddenly interrupting my meticulously planned Computers 101 in between.

He glared at me with red burning coal eyes. "You think I am a fool. I know all these stupid basic stuffs. Go to the advanced topics"

"Ok big boy if that is what you want", I replied. "So you intermediate level student of the digital world, go get the chrome icon and double click on it".

"Now we are getting somewhere. Just tell me what you mean by chrome, icon and double click and be rest assured I am gonna get it".

"I thought you knew the basic stuffs!!!", I cried out.

"You bet I do. But these are advanced topics right, so just run me through these things, I am sure I will catch up", my dad replied with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Alright. Now the small small things that you see on the screen - they are icons. and this is the Chrome icon. Chrome is a web browser that one uses to access the internet."

"Oh ok got it, simple enough", my dad replied. "What next".

"Double click it"

"And how do I do that"?

"Using the mouse dad, using the mouse". I was starting to wish I was somewhere else.

"Ok ok cool it young man, I got it. Ok here we go. Click 1...click 2...there done".

But nothing happened. My dad looked blank and turned to me.

"Place the mouse on the Chrome icon first Dad!!!"

"Ok easy enough. there we go again. click 1....click 2...there done".

Still nothing.

"Now what".

"For heavens sake you are not giving a massage to anyone. Double click means you do 2 clicks fast. You don't do the 2nd click one hour after the first!!!!!!!!", I cried out. My face was beginning to go red.

Finally after huffing and puffing through all the "advanced steps", we finally managed to reach www.gmail.com

"Ok dad I am now creating a gmail id for you - A.Sasidharan.Nair@gmail.com. Now give a password for this."

"Oh it's ok son, I just need a gmail id, I don't want any password", my dad smiled with a dismissing face.

"It's not an option dad. You can't use your gmail id without your password", I replied.

"Ok then let's keep this password - boomboomshakalakkaboomboomshak. How is it. 
Sweet na. It has a nice ring to it".

"Dad please keep the password simple. At this age I am sure you will not remember this password the next minute".

"Na it's ok I will remember it", he replied.

"Ok done. Here you go dad, you have your own gmail id. Congratulations". I wiped the sweat off my face.

Days flew by. I returned back to office and resumed my duties. One day I received a call in my mobile

"Hey dad how's everything going".

"Great son. After you left I started from where we left last time. I think I have reached a fairly advanced state of e-literacy. I even created my own Facebook account!!!"

"Wow dad way to go", I replied. I was feeling very proud.

"By the way I have send you a friend request. Go check it out"

After reaching home, I logged in to Facebook. Due to office workload it has been quite sometime since I had logged in.

"Hmm 4 new friend request". I opened the notifications

A Sasidharan Nair wants to be your friend
Sasidharan Nair A wants to be your friend
Sasidharan Nair wants to be your friend
Sasidharan A Nair wants to be your friend

"What the F@#%". I immediately took my phone.

"Dad what the hell. Why did you make 4 profiles!!!"

"Oh yeah that son. I thought that was easier than remembering the password"

#%&*!@#$%@#$&$#@

I was literally plucking out my hair. "But which profile is the latest one",  I asked throwing up my hands.

"Yeah I am not very sure of that. That's why I am planning to make another profile. Don't worry I will send the first friend request to you"

"Aaaahhhhh", I cried out and cut the phone.

My dad didn't understand what he did wrong. He looked at his arch rival - my mother. She was rolling on the floor laughing.

"Hey lady take it easy, atleast I know this much", he shouted out angrily.

"Yeah right, our maid has send me a Facebook friend request and she has not even gone to school", she managed to cry out while continuing to roll on the floor laughing. "And yeah she needed just one profile to do that"

Meanwhile it took few days for me to recover from this shock and once I was sure I was fine, I again logged into Facebook. Sure enough I could see a new friend request.

Nair Sasidharan wants to be your friend

I forced myself to accept the request. "Great I have 5 online fathers now", I thought.

Curiosity got the better of me and I went into my dad's latest profile to read his wall postings. There was just one posting

"Happy Birthday"

"Did my Dad wish himself happy birthday on his own wall. Oh God please tell me this is not the case". I reluctantly called up my Dad.

"Dad, why did you write Happy Birthday on your own wall"

"Oh that. It was my friend Raveendran's birthday, so I wished him"

"You do that by writing on his wall NOT ON YOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh is it. But then Raveendran replied Thank you on my wall", my dad replied bewildered.

"What, how is that possible. How does he even know that you were wishing him". 

Nothing was making sense. I cut the phone and went to my Dad's friends list and searched for Raveendran. 

Raveendran C Nair
Raveendran Chandran Nair
Raveendran Nair Chandran
Raveendran C N

Now everything was making sense. In some corner of the world Raveendran's son must be plucking out his hair.