As usual the sun rose at 6:00 am in IITB that day. Mikhilesh dayamaxx Gadha, as always, refused to get up, inspite of the poor alarm howling into his ear:-
"Get up you big fat moron, else you will miss your breakfast again"
No use. The alarm kept howling while the kumbakaran continued sleeping.
But finally Gadha did manage to drag his huge body down to the mess, only to see the mess workers cleaning up the tables. Poor Gadha missed his breakfast yet again.
"Grrrrrrrrr", his stomach protested.
Gadha patted his belly softly and sweetly. "Don't worry, Badlu's hei na".
Badlu's is the canteen in IITB CSE department. Gadha has a symbiotic relationship with Badlu's. One can't exist without the other. Gadha's daily quota of 20 idlis keeps Badlu's business running while Badlu's idlis manages to keep Gadha's belly round and plump.
After gulping down his idlis, Gadha slowly walked towards his lab. On the way he suddenly remembered that he didn't sign the muster. Muster signing is an integral part of every Mtech student's life. Officially the students are expected to sign it daily inorder to ensure that their monthly stipends reach their bank accounts safely and surely. But most of the CS Mtech students are the hard working types, who instead of wasting their precious time in stupid labs, prefer doing quality research on varied topics like "how to increase movie downloading speed" and "how to sleep all day without getting tired" in their rooms.
Thus the daily muster signing goes for a toss. Once in a week or two, the students, stressed out from their research work, finally find time to move their asses to the labs, putting a week or two's signature in the muster at one go. But sometimes it can happen that the higher authorities in CS office, led by the efficient and sincere, madam Dictor, conducts lightning muster raids without any warnings. She then analyses the muster for finding out the names of these "hard working" students and then crosses out the unsigned part of the muster after which she writes those terrible words by the side of the unfortunate students' names.
"Meet me".
The "marked" students will then have to meet and convince Dictor madam as to why the muster was left unsigned for so long. The innovativeness of CS students are best brought out under these pressure situations. If it is "a-crow-shitted-on-me-when-I-was-on-the-way-to-sign" for Sankaj lover-boy Polanki, then it is "I-was-in-coma-for a-week" for Mudiyakose Kakus. Dictor madam had a very hard task finding out which of these excuses were actually genuine. For example she knew Mudiakose was telling the truth, as it was only common for students working under Prof Impossible-to-satisfy Disha to go into coma every now and then, but she knew Polanki was lying as he was a born liar. It is always a tough task for her. Poor ma'm.
So back to the story.
As our hero Gadha was signing his muster, he happened to see Darshad giveup-case Karnarkar's row in the muster.
"Saala do hafte se sign nehi kiya hei", said Gadha to himself.
Suddenly a bright idea came to his mind. Making sure that no one was seeing him, he slowly crossed out Karnarkar's row in the muster and wrote in the side
"Meet me"
Then he took out his phone and dialled Karnarkar's number
"Oyee lounde, kya kar raha hei"
"Kuch nehi yaar, as usual room mei time pass"
"Aree sun, tune do hafte se muster mei sign nehi kiya hei na"
"Ha yaar, kal karta hu"
"Dictor madam has crossed out your row in the muster and has written Meet me by your name"
"What!!! O my god, what should I do now"
"Nothing much you can do other than meeting Dictor madam. Else your stipend is gone".
"Ok yaar, I will get ready and reach the office in half an hour", Karnarkar replied in his usual give-up tone.
"Great".
Gadha disconnected the phone and with a wicked smile on his face, he proceeded to his lab.
Meanwhile in madam Dictor's office.
"Jai why is this student coming to meet me in half an hour", Dictor madam asked without taking her eyes from the mail she just received from the HOD's (Head Of the Dept) office.
Jai got up and came over to Dictor madam's desk and looked at the mail madam was reading.
"Oh this one. This student was caught trying to put proxy attendance by signing for his friend in the attendance column in course CS233".
"Hmm ok let him come. I know how to deal with such devils".
After half an hour or so our friend Darshad giveup-case Karnarkar came running into the office and frantically opened the muster and went through all the rows till he reached his name. What he saw there made his heart skip a beat.
"Meet me"
Slowly, with a heavy heart, without knowing what excuse to make up, he made his way to Dictor madam's desk.
"Ma'm"
Dictor madam looked at him
"Yes?"
"Sorry", Darshad said, with his head looking down, not daring to look at ma'm face.
"Sorry??? For what?"
"Ma'm...err...signature...I..."
"Oh ok so it is you. How dare you do such a thing. Are you not ashamed of yourself?".
Darshad looked a little confused. "Am I supposed to feel ashamed for not signing the muster???", he thought in his mind.
"Err yes ma'm, I am really ashamed. I promise you I will sign regularly in future".
"What!!!You will sign again in future?"
"Yes ma'm, that is a promise that I will keep till my last breath. Even if someday I am not well and can't come, I will make sure I will get it signed by someone else".
Dictor madam was in a state of shock. This student, who was caught signing proxy attendance, dares to stand before her and declare that he will continue giving proxies till his last breath!!!!On top of that he will make sure that if he can't do it, he will make someone else do it!!!!.
"You...you.....", Ma'm was grinding her teeth, seething with anger
"Why are you angry ma'm. If you want I will tell everyone in my class to do this regularly".
"You will make your friends also do the same!!!!...@#$%@#$%#@$ ...".
Ma'm couldn't take this any longer
"I will have you suspended from the institute"
Now it was Darshad's turn to get shocked.
"What!!!Ma'm I told you in future I will sign regularly", Darshad almost cried in a desperate voice.
"That is exactly why I am going to suspend you".
"You are going to suspend me ?", Darshad now couldn't control himself. He started crying...then thinking of a better idea he puts a hand over the right part of the chest and started making different expressions of pain in his face to show that he was about to get a fatal heart attack without realising that the human heart was actually on the left.
"What else should I do to a student who is hell bent on giving proxies....and also doesn't know where his heart is"
"Signing proxies?No ma'm I never signed any proxies", Darshad replied in a confused tone, making sure he moved his hand to the left.
Now Dictor ma'm was confused.
"Err...but are you not the student who was caught signing proxy attendence in course CS233?", she asked
Suddenly the "pain" in Darshad's chest "miraculously" disappeared.
"No ma'm that would not be me. I came here because you crossed out my row in the muster and had put 'Meet-me' near my name", Darshad said in a relieved tone.
"No I didn't cross out anything in the muster not did I ask anyone to meet me", Dictor madam replied.
"What? But it was written...muster....but Gadha told me.....Gadha also saw..."
Suddenly the entire picture became clear to Darshad. It was Gadha's plan all along. Gadha was taking his revenge on Darshad for stealing an idli from his plate yesterday. Darshad could not control his anger. A shout resonated across the entire CS dept
"GADHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
