English is a very funny language. One word here or there or, for that matter, even a letter here or there, can change the whole meaning and spirit of the language. For example when Saurab bought his first guitar he wanted to tell everyone "Yeee I got my first 6 strings", but as luck would have it his status message came out to be "Yeee I got my first G strings". Well he still claims the status message was not his - "Ye sab opposition party ki chaal hei". Well whatever be the case, his exact feelings didn't quite get reflected: all because a 6 became a G.
But it is not the accidental interchanging of letters or words that is the main problem. Nowdays the medium of communication between various organs of the society happens to be in English. For eg: the "official" language of almost all private as well as most of the government educational institutes happens to be in English. And that, as we will soon see, is not always good. So how do these institutes still survive when not everyone in these institutes are not exactly English professors? Well here is where the Indian concept of Jugaad comes in. For the uninitiated, Jugaad means "somehow get it working" which mostly involves tweaking the existing concepts to suit one's environment.
One funny incident that I can remember, happened to me during the first year of my under graduation. As every engineer will know, there is a compulsory mechanical workshop for all the first year students. It involves hammering, cutting steel plates, digging sand and what not. We had a chief instructor who, at the start of each class, will explain how to do the experiment meant for that day. On that particular day the experiment involved sawing a thick steel piece. How the instructor communicated to us with his limited knowledge of English vocabulary was, in my opinion, an incredible example of Jugaad in English literature.
"Today we see how we saw". Then taking the saw in his right hand and the steel piece in his left, he continued - "Take saw, then saw", pushes the blade forward "and saw" pulls the blade backward, "saw" - pushes forward, "and saw" - pulls backward.
He did this 3 or 4 times. "Saw saw saw saw. All see how saw?". Everyone nodded.
"Now, you saw I see". Everyone started sawing their steel piece. One guy, in his enthusiasm to finish the work fast, was sawing the steel piece at a furious pace. When the instructor saw this he immediately stopped him.
"Don't saw saw saw". Then showing how to do it smoothly, he continued -" just saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw".
I was amazed at how, with explicit usage of just a word, he held his on throughout the entire session, though I wouldn't be surprised if anyone lost his sense of grammer after this class.
But sometimes English can be a real badass, especially in the hands of a person who is not very comfortable with it. The incident, that happened to Nandu's friend, more than illustrates this fact. In one of the classes in her college days, the professor had asked the students to study the day's lesson and come prepared for his next class. The next day, the professor started asking questions regarding what he taught the previous day. One of the questions was asked to Nandu's friend. Now she, being the typical college student, had no recollection whatsoever of what was taught the previous class.
She started blabbering - "Err sir it is...that is...then only but also...err...sir.....sir I don't know the answer".
The professor was furious. But he would never have meant what he said next.
"What!!!You don't know how to reproduce. Yesterday I taught you everything and today you can't reproduce. No, I won't allow this, you have to reproduce. C'mon try, I will also help you to reproduce"
The girl was stunned. She didn't know what to say. She knew the professor didn't mean it, so she had no idea how to react. As for the professor he was clueless as to why the whole class burst out into laughter. Poor Prof...poorer student.
People holding very high positions are expected to be very good in communication. Thus it cannot be stressed enough how critical it is for a person holding a very important position, like a Director of an educational institute as in this case, to be proficient in English and to be precise on what he wants to convey. Else incidents like this are bound to happen :-
It was the first day of the college and the Director was addressing an audience comprising mainly of students and parents. He started his lecture with an history of the institution and about how the students - and their parents - have made the correct decision in joining this "great" institute. Then he came to the main topic.
"Younger generation discipline very bad. One boy one boy ok. One girl one girl ok. But one boy one girl - Total problem"
He continued ranting.
"Today's girls boys no study. Today's girls boys no class attend. Today's girls boys full day sit under the trees."
Then he went on to propose far reaching measures to improve student discipline.
"This year we cut all trees".
Whew, this guy should have been our Finance minister.
Then, addressing all the parents in the audience, he emphasised how his reforms were going to improve their children after 4 years in this institute.
"Today you give me one child. After 4 years I give you another child!!!"
Well what else to say - All hail English.
PS: The below video captures the theme of this post precisely. The plot from this famous mallu movie where the hero is trying to impress the girls' parents with his english whereas the villain is trying to prove that the hero doesn't know even the basics of English grammer.
But it is not the accidental interchanging of letters or words that is the main problem. Nowdays the medium of communication between various organs of the society happens to be in English. For eg: the "official" language of almost all private as well as most of the government educational institutes happens to be in English. And that, as we will soon see, is not always good. So how do these institutes still survive when not everyone in these institutes are not exactly English professors? Well here is where the Indian concept of Jugaad comes in. For the uninitiated, Jugaad means "somehow get it working" which mostly involves tweaking the existing concepts to suit one's environment.
One funny incident that I can remember, happened to me during the first year of my under graduation. As every engineer will know, there is a compulsory mechanical workshop for all the first year students. It involves hammering, cutting steel plates, digging sand and what not. We had a chief instructor who, at the start of each class, will explain how to do the experiment meant for that day. On that particular day the experiment involved sawing a thick steel piece. How the instructor communicated to us with his limited knowledge of English vocabulary was, in my opinion, an incredible example of Jugaad in English literature.
"Today we see how we saw". Then taking the saw in his right hand and the steel piece in his left, he continued - "Take saw, then saw", pushes the blade forward "and saw" pulls the blade backward, "saw" - pushes forward, "and saw" - pulls backward.
He did this 3 or 4 times. "Saw saw saw saw. All see how saw?". Everyone nodded.
"Now, you saw I see". Everyone started sawing their steel piece. One guy, in his enthusiasm to finish the work fast, was sawing the steel piece at a furious pace. When the instructor saw this he immediately stopped him.
"Don't saw saw saw". Then showing how to do it smoothly, he continued -" just saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw".
I was amazed at how, with explicit usage of just a word, he held his on throughout the entire session, though I wouldn't be surprised if anyone lost his sense of grammer after this class.
But sometimes English can be a real badass, especially in the hands of a person who is not very comfortable with it. The incident, that happened to Nandu's friend, more than illustrates this fact. In one of the classes in her college days, the professor had asked the students to study the day's lesson and come prepared for his next class. The next day, the professor started asking questions regarding what he taught the previous day. One of the questions was asked to Nandu's friend. Now she, being the typical college student, had no recollection whatsoever of what was taught the previous class.
She started blabbering - "Err sir it is...that is...then only but also...err...sir.....sir I don't know the answer".
The professor was furious. But he would never have meant what he said next.
"What!!!You don't know how to reproduce. Yesterday I taught you everything and today you can't reproduce. No, I won't allow this, you have to reproduce. C'mon try, I will also help you to reproduce"
The girl was stunned. She didn't know what to say. She knew the professor didn't mean it, so she had no idea how to react. As for the professor he was clueless as to why the whole class burst out into laughter. Poor Prof...poorer student.
People holding very high positions are expected to be very good in communication. Thus it cannot be stressed enough how critical it is for a person holding a very important position, like a Director of an educational institute as in this case, to be proficient in English and to be precise on what he wants to convey. Else incidents like this are bound to happen :-
It was the first day of the college and the Director was addressing an audience comprising mainly of students and parents. He started his lecture with an history of the institution and about how the students - and their parents - have made the correct decision in joining this "great" institute. Then he came to the main topic.
"Younger generation discipline very bad. One boy one boy ok. One girl one girl ok. But one boy one girl - Total problem"
He continued ranting.
"Today's girls boys no study. Today's girls boys no class attend. Today's girls boys full day sit under the trees."
Then he went on to propose far reaching measures to improve student discipline.
"This year we cut all trees".
Whew, this guy should have been our Finance minister.
Then, addressing all the parents in the audience, he emphasised how his reforms were going to improve their children after 4 years in this institute.
"Today you give me one child. After 4 years I give you another child!!!"
Well what else to say - All hail English.
PS: The below video captures the theme of this post precisely. The plot from this famous mallu movie where the hero is trying to impress the girls' parents with his english whereas the villain is trying to prove that the hero doesn't know even the basics of English grammer.
