Bravery

Attention all passengers. Welcome to Mumbai airport. The Indigo flight from Mumbai to Bangalore has been delayed by one hour due to some technical difficulties. Sorry for the inconvenience caused.

"Shit", Nandu muttered under her breath. She turned to face her hubby - obviously me, duh - "Hey, what are you reading", Nandu asked.

"Nothing, just scanning today's newspaper. Better than sitting and doing nothing other than wait for our flight I guess. Any idea in which page the astrology section appears?".

"Since when did you start reading all those crap", Nandu asked

"Since my last appraisal meeting"

"Why?"

"In the appraisal sheet one of the points was - How do you rate your contribution to the company. In my column I wrote Exceeds Expectations. In his column the manager wrote - Hahaha yeah right"

"Bad luck I guess", Nandu replied, sympathetically

"So I just want to see whether there are any good times ahead for me", I replied.

"Aha here it is", I said, atlast managing to find what I was looking for. "OK let's start with what your stars have got to say for the next month",  I said, giving Nandu a cunning smile.

"Hey it says you are blessed with a fantastic husband", I exclaimed. "Gosh there really is truth in these things"

"Now I am sure - astrology is bull shit", Nandu replied.

I stared hard at her. She looked back coolly.

"And it says", I continued, "you are poised to touch great heights".

"Hmm that could happen. My cubicle is getting shifted to the 13th floor next month"

"And that you could expect a surprise from your husband", I smiled

"Now what could that be", Nandu eyed me mischievously

"Ok yours done. Let me see mine. Now where is it....Hmm...Yeah got it".

"Cool, so what does it say", Nandu asked.

I read my 'future' for 2 minutes. I then looked at her with a frown on my face. "Apparently I am getting pregnant next month"

"Hahahaha so that is the surprise. Thank you honey for such a wonderful gift". She couldn't control her laughter. I threw away the paper. "You are right. This is just crap", I said. "I need to attend to nature's call now". I got up and went searching for the restroom.

I returned in five minutes. Nandu sensed something was wrong. "Wow that was fast. What happened", she said.

"The bathroom sucks", I told Nandu in an angry voice. "I can't believe they call this airport an international one". Nandu, seeing my face, just giggled.

"Actually this is the domestic terminal", she said

"Great"

All of a sudden there was a sense of uneasiness everywhere. People were whispering and pointing in some direction, airline staffs were running here and there. We didn't understand what was going on. I asked a person sitting next to our seat.

"Sir, you have any idea what is going on here".

"It seems there is some unknown package over there", he replied, pointing to a  seat, not far from where were seated. "It has been lying there for a long time now. The airport staffs have called in  the police".

"Oh. Guess it's not going to be a dull wait after all", I said

Soon a police constable arrived.

"Oyee what is happening here. Why are you all crowded around here", he asked in a rude tone

"Sir, we have found an unknown package lying here for a long time, unattended", one among the airport staff replied.

"So what. Someone must have forgotten his lunch box. So what's the big deal", the constable asked, maintaining his rude tone.

"Sir it could be a bomb"

The constable jumped 10 meters back

"Err you sure? It doesn't look any dangerous to me", the constable said, in a very hushed and tensed voice, lest he activated the 'bomb' with his decibel level. "What a waste of a morning", he muttered under his breath. He picked up his walkie talkie and called in his partner. "Oyee Balram, come to main entry lounge, we have a problem here".

Balram soon arrived and joined his partner Sukhram. He was soon updated about the situation.

"Ok so what are you waiting for. Go and open the package", Balram said

"Err me?...Hmm ok", Sukhram looked really tensed.

Then from where he was standing, Sukhram leaned forward, stretching his right hand to the fullest, left hand straight up in the air, perpendicular to his out stretched hand. He could barely touch the package with his lathi.

"You trying to learn Ballet dancing?", Balram asked his partner, seeing his clumsy efforts to reach the package.

"I am not doing any Balle or Kulle. I am trying to see what the package contains", Sukhram replied, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"How can you see what is inside the package if you stand one km away from it!!!", Balram growled. "Go near to it and take a look you fool".

"Yeah right, easy for you to say, seeing that you are nowhere close to it than I am. Why should I go. You go", Sukhram replied back.

"Err...Hmm...I would have happily done so any other time, but today you see I have some critical work", Balram "informed" him before scampering away. Sukhram  resumed his peacock dancing.

Nandu and I were watching this drama all along. Turning to Nandu I said,

"Nandu I don't like to boast, but I must tell you that your husband is a very brave man"

"Good for me"

"And with you as witness I want to state something"

"What?"

"We Indians, we do not bow to the diktats of the terrorists. Me, being a great Indian - a very good Nair boy - I too have the blood, B+, of my great ancestors running through my veins, those ancestors who bravely stood like a rock in front of British tanks and bullets..."

Nandu looked worried. She was afraid her husband was losing the plot. People all around were looking at us. But unmindful of all that I continued my soliloquy :-

"And if the need arises, I will rather show my well built muscular clean shave chest and gladly receive their bullets and die for my country - and  become eligible for this year's bravery awards - than run away and put my country to shame. I will make sure till my last breath that these terrorists will not win irrespective of how many bombs they blast...BHARAT MATA KI JAI ...JAI HIND!!!"

A few meters away Sukhram took out his walkie talkie

"Hello sir, situation diffused. It was a bunch of banana peels" 

Nandu looked sadly at me. "Oh poor you, there goes your bravery award"

The brave man went back to reading his horoscope.

PS: In some versions of the above story, you may hear that the protagonists actually ran out of the airport when the very word bomb was mentioned. Please don't believe all those stories. It's just misinformation spread by our enemy country to malign us brave people.