Disclaimer: A fictitious story inspired by some real life characters
It was Chandrika Ammumma's birthday. Her four daughters, the Painkulam sisters and their families have gathered in Tucklay to celebrate it. The Painkulam sisters were busy in the kitchen, preparing a special payasam for Chandrika Ammumma.
[Painkulam and Tucklay are villages near Trivandrum Tamil Nadu border]
Chandrika Ammumma was hoping for a relaxing day. But the naughty Painkulam cousins,Vava, Nandu, Chandu, Asha Chechi, Shalini Chechi and Anu, had other plans in store for her.
Vava, the youngest and the most naughtiest of all the cousins, came over to Chandrika Ammumma's side.
"Ammumma Ammumma please Ammumma, tell us Thampy Appuppan's stories", Vava pleaded, tugging at her saree.
The others too joined in.
"Yes Ammumma pleaseee tell us about Thampy Appuppan. We have heard so much about him, but we want to hear the real stories from you".
"C'mon kids later. Right now let me rest", Chandrika Ammumma replied back
But the kids were in no mood to give up. Soon it was a chaos, all cousins shouting and pulling Chandrika Ammumma's saree from all sides. When a stage reached where poor Chandrika Ammumma's vastraharan was imminent, with no sign of any Krishnas coming to her help, she relented.
"Ok fine fine. I will tell you about Thampy Appuppan, but first let go of my saree you brats. You all are such a naughty lot. If Thampy Appuppan would have been here, he would have kicked you all and rescued me from your torture", Chandrika Ammumma shouted, though she was clearly enjoying being the cynosure of the group.
"So what is it that you want to know", Chandrika Ammumma asked, making herself comfortable in the new sofa, and looking down intensely at her audience sitting on the floor.
"Everything", came the reply from the crowd.
"Ok so where do I start". She thought for a while. "Hmm as you all know Thampy Appuppan was a teacher teaching at a local school in Painkulam. But Thampy Appuppan was not your usual simple khadi clad rural teacher"
"Why", Vava asked. "He wore suit,coat and tie instead of khadi?"
"No stupid", Chandrika Ammumma said, "I meant he had other special qualities".
"What special qualities?", everyone wanted to know
Chandrika Ammumma started blushing....then stammering..."He was....he was...hmm how do I say this...he was the Man of Steel...the Superman...of his generation", Chandrika Ammumma explained. The blushing reached a crescendo.
"Superman?Why? He went to school wearing his underwear outside???", Chandu wondered.
Chandrika Ammumma stared at Chandu. "Really boy who gave you admission in IIM. I really want to meet that idiot".
Everyone started giggling.
"What I meant was", Chandrika Ammumma resumed, "he had a great gym body", her face resumed blushing.
Everyone gasped.
"Whoa Mrs Chandrika Thampy, you are cool baby", Anu cried out.
"Well I just stated a fact Anu. His body was the talk of the village - muscular and chiseled. Unlike today, where every Tom Dick and Harry on the street carry a six packs, in the 1960s there was just Thampy Appuppan for us ladies to admire. He was the hot property of Painkulam. Painkulam ladies just went crazy over him".
"All the Meenakshis and Kochaminis would run after him, screaming "
Ooh La La Ooh La La
Ooh La La Ooh La La
Tu Hei Meri Fantasy
"Their husbands meanwhile would run after them, screaming"
Kar De Mushkil Jeena Ishq Kamina
Everyone laughed, seeing Chandrika Ammumma perform the Ooh La La and Ishq kamina dance moves.
"Soon my marriage to Thampy Appuppan was fixed. I guess I broke too many hearts in Painkulam", Chandrika Ammumma chuckled.
"Why do you say so Chandrika Ammumma", Shalini Chechi asked.
"After my marriage to Thampy Appuppan was fixed, I started getting many hate mails. I got nervous. I wondered why I was getting all these hate mails. As if I had a choice. It just happened that my father pointed towards Thampy Appupan and declared"
He's the one for you
"Yeah Whatever", I replied
"You see 1960s was not exactly a women friendly decade in India. My opinion mattered for little", Chandrika Ammumma lamented.
"Oh you mean you did'nt want to marry Thampy Appuppan?", Nandu asked
"Naa I didn't say that my girl. Now who would said no to a dashing young hunk", Chandrika Ammumma winked.
Everyone giggled.
"Luckily none of the doomsday scenarios mentioned in the hate mails happened on the day of marriage. I was particularly scared of one of the threats mentioned in the hate mails", Chandrika Ammumma said anxiously.
"Oh did they threaten to kidnap you or something?",Anu asked, feeling tensed
"WORSE!!!Their threat was much worse. They threatened to kidnap my make-up lady, Radha!!! Chandrika Ammumma literally cried out. "Imagine the bride having to sit on marriage pandal without having good make up. Is there anything more worse that can happen to a bride?", Chandrika Ammumma wondered.
"Agreed", all the girls in the crowd concurred. The boys didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
"Luckily", Chandrika Ammumma continued, "nothing like that happened and the marriage went smoothly"
"Great escape Chandrika Ammumma", Shalini Chechi said, showing a thumbs up sign.
Chandrika Ammumma continued, "After my marriage, I started my new life as Mrs Chandrika Thampy. But soon I found out that life with Thampy Appuppan was not a bed of roses as I had imagined".
"Why", Asha Chechi asked.
"Thampy Appuppan had some temper. When he got angry, it scared the shit out of me. No kidding", Chandrika Ammumma replied.
"Was it that bad?", Chandu asked.
"When that man gets angry, I tell you, that height, that bald head, those big round red eyes, all of these can make even that Terminator guy, Arnold, wet his pants. Just imagine if a guy, having muscles jumping out from every nook and corner of his body, needs to change his pants each time Thampy Appuppan gets angry, the less said about me, the better", Chandrika Ammumma said.
"Poor Chandrika Ammumma", everyone agreed.
"Thampy Appuppan used to get angry even for small things",Chandrika Ammumma continued. "Once it so happened that, the dinner was getting late and Thampy Appuppan's anger was competing with his hunger. Finally his anger reached the tipping point. He just banged his hand hard on the table, shouted his lungs out and left the table"
"Where did he go", Vava asked.
"He went and locked himself inside a room", Chandrika Ammumma replied
"Oh. So what did you do Chandrika Ammumma", Shalini Chechi wanted to know.
"What else could I do? I pleaded with him that I was sorry". "Please come out of the room. I cried again and again".
"Hmm you must have felt bad that you made him angry, right Chandrika Ammumma?", Nandu asked, with pity in her voice.
"Angry? Angry my foot. I was hungry", Chandrika Ammumma replied
"Ohh", Nandu exclaimed, somewhat amused. "So what happened next", she asked.
Chandrika Ammumma continued,"I pleaded and pleaded but no use. He didn't come out of the room. Finally I gave up"
"Aiyayo so both of you didn't have your dinner that night", Anu asked, his eyes almost in tears. It was too much for the foodie in him to even imagine not eating food whenever possible.
"Naa. I had a great dinner and went to sleep", Chandrika Ammumma replied, rubbing her stomach, relishing the memories of that wonderful dinner.
"Poor Thampy Appuppan", Asha Chechi said, feeling a bit sad for her grandpa
"Don't feel pity for him. That cunning fellow came out of his room when I was sleeping and ate whatever was left on the dinning table. And he did so without making a single noise. Not even a grain of rice was left the next day"
"Hahaha is that so?", asked Asha Chechi."Grandpa you are great".
"Ammumma, wasn't our Grandpa a legend in Painkulam", Chandu asked.. The villagers still talk about him, long after he is gone".
"Hmm yeah Chandu, he was. You know what?Once he climbed 100 coconut trees in a single day".
"Oh my God!!!He did that???", Chandu gasped out. "But why?"
"That thenga vettukaran (person who is hired to climb the coconut trees to cut the coconuts) was bargaining for 10 more rupees per tree", Chandrika Ammumma explained.
"Wow so our Thampy Appuppan saved a cool 1000 rupees in a single day. Way to go Grandpa", Vava said, his face filled with admiration.
"Another time, after seeing a laborer going on chopping and chopping a tree for 2 hours, but hardly managing to make a dent on it, Thampy Appuppan just took the axe from his hands, struck the tree twice followed by a leg kick. The laborer could only watch as the giant tree fell with a thud. Grandpa returned the axe and went back to reading. The laborer was left wondering why he was called in the first place."
"Ah those wonderful times", Chandrika Ammumma said nostalgically
"Oh is it? Were our mothers so good children, unlike us", Anu questioned.
"Oh ho ho good and they? No one can find more naughtier children than those four",Chandrika Ammumma replied with a smile.
"Then why were those times so wonderful Ammumma", Nandu asked.
"Well now Thampy Appuppan had four fresh faces to shout at when he starts his Thandavam nirtham. How long can he keep shouting at same old face without getting bored", Chandrika Ammumma chuckled.
"The Painkulam sisters went to the same school where Grandpa was teaching, didn't they Ammumma?", Asha Chechi asked, knowingly
"Right", Ammumma replied. "As if that was not enough, Thampy Appuppan was their headmaster also".
"Whew, I have heard my mom often say that Grandpa was a strict disciplinarian", Nandu said
"Yeah. But he was very partial to them when compared to other students",Chandrika Ammumma said
"Is it?", Anu asked, finding it hard to believe
"Oh yeah definitely", Chandrika Ammumma replied,"When other students get canned on their hand for not doing their homework, the Painkulam sisters got a package deal. They got both their hand and assess canned. When the school closes everyday at 4 pm, other students would run out and celebrate as if they got parole from Tihar jail, but the Painkulam sisters knew there is no use of celebrating. They had to face the jail warden back home for their night duties"
"Hmm no wonder Mummy wasn't much fond of her school. She hated the school exams more though", Asha Chechi said.
"Hmm there is actually a reason why they hated exams the most", Chandrika Ammumma said
Everyone were intrigued.
"Why?", they asked.
"Well, the very next day after the exams are over, Thampy Appuppan would pull out their answer papers. Then he will make them stand in front of him while he starts correcting each of their paper. Each mistake results in either a pinch on an ear or twisting of both the ears or a slap on the bump or else a combination of all depending on the severity of the mistakes. The eldest one, Mangalam, generally escapes with just occasional pinch on the ear but Lola, being the most studious, she ends up getting all possible combinations".
"Hahaha so they were no better than us", Asha Chechi said.
Meanwhile the aroma of the payasam from the kitchen was getting stronger and stronger. Ammumma couldn't resist any longer. "Ok kids, story time's up. Go and grab some of that payasam before I finish it all by myself", Chandrika Ammumma warned, getting up from her sofa.
"Thank you Ammumma for Grandpa's story", Chandu said. Everyone nodded.
Chandrika Ammumma smiled.
"The pleasure is all mine"
It was Chandrika Ammumma's birthday. Her four daughters, the Painkulam sisters and their families have gathered in Tucklay to celebrate it. The Painkulam sisters were busy in the kitchen, preparing a special payasam for Chandrika Ammumma.
[Painkulam and Tucklay are villages near Trivandrum Tamil Nadu border]
Chandrika Ammumma was hoping for a relaxing day. But the naughty Painkulam cousins,Vava, Nandu, Chandu, Asha Chechi, Shalini Chechi and Anu, had other plans in store for her.
Vava, the youngest and the most naughtiest of all the cousins, came over to Chandrika Ammumma's side.
"Ammumma Ammumma please Ammumma, tell us Thampy Appuppan's stories", Vava pleaded, tugging at her saree.
The others too joined in.
"Yes Ammumma pleaseee tell us about Thampy Appuppan. We have heard so much about him, but we want to hear the real stories from you".
"C'mon kids later. Right now let me rest", Chandrika Ammumma replied back
But the kids were in no mood to give up. Soon it was a chaos, all cousins shouting and pulling Chandrika Ammumma's saree from all sides. When a stage reached where poor Chandrika Ammumma's vastraharan was imminent, with no sign of any Krishnas coming to her help, she relented.
"Ok fine fine. I will tell you about Thampy Appuppan, but first let go of my saree you brats. You all are such a naughty lot. If Thampy Appuppan would have been here, he would have kicked you all and rescued me from your torture", Chandrika Ammumma shouted, though she was clearly enjoying being the cynosure of the group.
"So what is it that you want to know", Chandrika Ammumma asked, making herself comfortable in the new sofa, and looking down intensely at her audience sitting on the floor.
"Everything", came the reply from the crowd.
"Ok so where do I start". She thought for a while. "Hmm as you all know Thampy Appuppan was a teacher teaching at a local school in Painkulam. But Thampy Appuppan was not your usual simple khadi clad rural teacher"
"Why", Vava asked. "He wore suit,coat and tie instead of khadi?"
"No stupid", Chandrika Ammumma said, "I meant he had other special qualities".
"What special qualities?", everyone wanted to know
Chandrika Ammumma started blushing....then stammering..."He was....he was...hmm how do I say this...he was the Man of Steel...the Superman...of his generation", Chandrika Ammumma explained. The blushing reached a crescendo.
"Superman?Why? He went to school wearing his underwear outside???", Chandu wondered.
Chandrika Ammumma stared at Chandu. "Really boy who gave you admission in IIM. I really want to meet that idiot".
Everyone started giggling.
"What I meant was", Chandrika Ammumma resumed, "he had a great gym body", her face resumed blushing.
Everyone gasped.
"Whoa Mrs Chandrika Thampy, you are cool baby", Anu cried out.
"Well I just stated a fact Anu. His body was the talk of the village - muscular and chiseled. Unlike today, where every Tom Dick and Harry on the street carry a six packs, in the 1960s there was just Thampy Appuppan for us ladies to admire. He was the hot property of Painkulam. Painkulam ladies just went crazy over him".
"All the Meenakshis and Kochaminis would run after him, screaming "
Ooh La La Ooh La La
Ooh La La Ooh La La
Tu Hei Meri Fantasy
"Their husbands meanwhile would run after them, screaming"
Kar De Mushkil Jeena Ishq Kamina
Everyone laughed, seeing Chandrika Ammumma perform the Ooh La La and Ishq kamina dance moves.
"Soon my marriage to Thampy Appuppan was fixed. I guess I broke too many hearts in Painkulam", Chandrika Ammumma chuckled.
"Why do you say so Chandrika Ammumma", Shalini Chechi asked.
"After my marriage to Thampy Appuppan was fixed, I started getting many hate mails. I got nervous. I wondered why I was getting all these hate mails. As if I had a choice. It just happened that my father pointed towards Thampy Appupan and declared"
He's the one for you
"Yeah Whatever", I replied
"You see 1960s was not exactly a women friendly decade in India. My opinion mattered for little", Chandrika Ammumma lamented.
"Oh you mean you did'nt want to marry Thampy Appuppan?", Nandu asked
"Naa I didn't say that my girl. Now who would said no to a dashing young hunk", Chandrika Ammumma winked.
Everyone giggled.
"Luckily none of the doomsday scenarios mentioned in the hate mails happened on the day of marriage. I was particularly scared of one of the threats mentioned in the hate mails", Chandrika Ammumma said anxiously.
"Oh did they threaten to kidnap you or something?",Anu asked, feeling tensed
"WORSE!!!Their threat was much worse. They threatened to kidnap my make-up lady, Radha!!! Chandrika Ammumma literally cried out. "Imagine the bride having to sit on marriage pandal without having good make up. Is there anything more worse that can happen to a bride?", Chandrika Ammumma wondered.
"Agreed", all the girls in the crowd concurred. The boys didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
"Luckily", Chandrika Ammumma continued, "nothing like that happened and the marriage went smoothly"
"Great escape Chandrika Ammumma", Shalini Chechi said, showing a thumbs up sign.
Chandrika Ammumma continued, "After my marriage, I started my new life as Mrs Chandrika Thampy. But soon I found out that life with Thampy Appuppan was not a bed of roses as I had imagined".
"Why", Asha Chechi asked.
"Thampy Appuppan had some temper. When he got angry, it scared the shit out of me. No kidding", Chandrika Ammumma replied.
"Was it that bad?", Chandu asked.
"When that man gets angry, I tell you, that height, that bald head, those big round red eyes, all of these can make even that Terminator guy, Arnold, wet his pants. Just imagine if a guy, having muscles jumping out from every nook and corner of his body, needs to change his pants each time Thampy Appuppan gets angry, the less said about me, the better", Chandrika Ammumma said.
"Poor Chandrika Ammumma", everyone agreed.
"Thampy Appuppan used to get angry even for small things",Chandrika Ammumma continued. "Once it so happened that, the dinner was getting late and Thampy Appuppan's anger was competing with his hunger. Finally his anger reached the tipping point. He just banged his hand hard on the table, shouted his lungs out and left the table"
"Where did he go", Vava asked.
"He went and locked himself inside a room", Chandrika Ammumma replied
"Oh. So what did you do Chandrika Ammumma", Shalini Chechi wanted to know.
"What else could I do? I pleaded with him that I was sorry". "Please come out of the room. I cried again and again".
"Hmm you must have felt bad that you made him angry, right Chandrika Ammumma?", Nandu asked, with pity in her voice.
"Angry? Angry my foot. I was hungry", Chandrika Ammumma replied
"Ohh", Nandu exclaimed, somewhat amused. "So what happened next", she asked.
Chandrika Ammumma continued,"I pleaded and pleaded but no use. He didn't come out of the room. Finally I gave up"
"Aiyayo so both of you didn't have your dinner that night", Anu asked, his eyes almost in tears. It was too much for the foodie in him to even imagine not eating food whenever possible.
"Naa. I had a great dinner and went to sleep", Chandrika Ammumma replied, rubbing her stomach, relishing the memories of that wonderful dinner.
"Poor Thampy Appuppan", Asha Chechi said, feeling a bit sad for her grandpa
"Don't feel pity for him. That cunning fellow came out of his room when I was sleeping and ate whatever was left on the dinning table. And he did so without making a single noise. Not even a grain of rice was left the next day"
"Hahaha is that so?", asked Asha Chechi."Grandpa you are great".
"Ammumma, wasn't our Grandpa a legend in Painkulam", Chandu asked.. The villagers still talk about him, long after he is gone".
"Hmm yeah Chandu, he was. You know what?Once he climbed 100 coconut trees in a single day".
"Oh my God!!!He did that???", Chandu gasped out. "But why?"
"That thenga vettukaran (person who is hired to climb the coconut trees to cut the coconuts) was bargaining for 10 more rupees per tree", Chandrika Ammumma explained.
"Wow so our Thampy Appuppan saved a cool 1000 rupees in a single day. Way to go Grandpa", Vava said, his face filled with admiration.
"Another time, after seeing a laborer going on chopping and chopping a tree for 2 hours, but hardly managing to make a dent on it, Thampy Appuppan just took the axe from his hands, struck the tree twice followed by a leg kick. The laborer could only watch as the giant tree fell with a thud. Grandpa returned the axe and went back to reading. The laborer was left wondering why he was called in the first place."
"Our Grandpa rocks", Anu cried out, excitedly.
"Ammumma Ammumma tell us about our mothers' childhood tales also. How were the Painkulam sisters when they were our age", Nandu asked, with a grin on her face.
"Ah those wonderful times", Chandrika Ammumma said nostalgically
"Oh is it? Were our mothers so good children, unlike us", Anu questioned.
"Oh ho ho good and they? No one can find more naughtier children than those four",Chandrika Ammumma replied with a smile.
"Then why were those times so wonderful Ammumma", Nandu asked.
"Well now Thampy Appuppan had four fresh faces to shout at when he starts his Thandavam nirtham. How long can he keep shouting at same old face without getting bored", Chandrika Ammumma chuckled.
"The Painkulam sisters went to the same school where Grandpa was teaching, didn't they Ammumma?", Asha Chechi asked, knowingly
"Right", Ammumma replied. "As if that was not enough, Thampy Appuppan was their headmaster also".
"Whew, I have heard my mom often say that Grandpa was a strict disciplinarian", Nandu said
"Yeah. But he was very partial to them when compared to other students",Chandrika Ammumma said
"Is it?", Anu asked, finding it hard to believe
"Oh yeah definitely", Chandrika Ammumma replied,"When other students get canned on their hand for not doing their homework, the Painkulam sisters got a package deal. They got both their hand and assess canned. When the school closes everyday at 4 pm, other students would run out and celebrate as if they got parole from Tihar jail, but the Painkulam sisters knew there is no use of celebrating. They had to face the jail warden back home for their night duties"
"Hmm no wonder Mummy wasn't much fond of her school. She hated the school exams more though", Asha Chechi said.
"Hmm there is actually a reason why they hated exams the most", Chandrika Ammumma said
Everyone were intrigued.
"Why?", they asked.
"Well, the very next day after the exams are over, Thampy Appuppan would pull out their answer papers. Then he will make them stand in front of him while he starts correcting each of their paper. Each mistake results in either a pinch on an ear or twisting of both the ears or a slap on the bump or else a combination of all depending on the severity of the mistakes. The eldest one, Mangalam, generally escapes with just occasional pinch on the ear but Lola, being the most studious, she ends up getting all possible combinations".
"Hahaha so they were no better than us", Asha Chechi said.
Meanwhile the aroma of the payasam from the kitchen was getting stronger and stronger. Ammumma couldn't resist any longer. "Ok kids, story time's up. Go and grab some of that payasam before I finish it all by myself", Chandrika Ammumma warned, getting up from her sofa.
"Thank you Ammumma for Grandpa's story", Chandu said. Everyone nodded.
Chandrika Ammumma smiled.
"The pleasure is all mine"
