"So this is Hanuman when he was small?", Kittunni asked
"Yes", his Dad replied
"What is he wearing?"
"That is langoti. People in those days used to wear this", Mohan explained.
"Its a chaddi?"
"What? Err...Hmmm...yeah something like that", Mohan replied, not knowing what else to say.
"So let me get this straight. He is allowed to go out and play with his friends in his chaddi and I have my ears plucked out if I do the same?"
It was a bright Saturday morning and Mohan thought it was a good day to impart some Indian culture to his 5 year old son Kittunni. He took Amar Chitra Katha's illustrated book on Ramayana for this important mission. It was gifted to Kittunni by his Grand Mother. Mohan never knew how much he was going to regret this.
The story telling continued. The doubts continued even faster.
"So what you are basically telling me is that young Hanuman thought the Sun was an apple and jumped up to eat it?".
"Yes", Mohan replied. "Brilliant isn't it?", Mohan asked with a proud smile on his face.
"No, its not", Kittunni replied back.
"Why???", Mohan asked bewildered.
"You see yesterday when we went for school admissions and when the Principal showed me an orange and asked me what it was and when I said it was an apple I got a kick on my toes under the table. And this Hanuman guy here is thinking the sun is an apple - and believe me I will never make such a dumb mistake - and you are saying this guy is BRILLIANT??? Compared to him I am a super good boy and all I got was a kick on my leg"
Silence for 2 seconds
"Err but he is Hanuman?", Mohan tried to explain.
"And I am Kittunni. What's your point bro?", Kittunni asked, not ready to let go. He was not one to suffer any injustice in silence.
"Nothing let's move on with the story. So Hanuman grew up to become a strong boy. He became friends with Sugreeva who was banished from his Kingdom by his brother Bali. He..."
"WAAAAIT", Kittunni interrupted with his palm raised. He would have made Sonia Gandhi proud with his usage of her party symbol.
"What is it Kittunni", Mohan asked.
"Who is this new guy?", Kittunni asked.
"Who?Sugreeva? He is a Monkey-man. Oh sorry forgot to mention. Hanuman is also a monkey-man", his dad replied.
"What is a Monkey-man?", Kittunni asked. "Is this a monkey which became a man or a man who became a monkey"
"Err......". Now Mohan was confused.
"Are they some distant relatives of Superman or Spiderman?"
"What? No no...no relation to them". Mohan was dumbfounded.
"What next dad? Talking Vultures, Bear-man?". Kittunni was seriously starting to doubt who the 5 year old in the room was.
"Yes. Yes", his dad got excited. "Jatayu, Jambhavan. Cool Kittu!!!You are getting the gist of it"
"Really Dad? You are ok with talking animals and here I get kicked for getting an orange wrong?"
The smile vanished. Mohan sensed this was not going the way he intended.
"You know what, just forget they are Monkey-man. Just assume, for the time being, they are Monkeys who can talk and walk. And yeah there are other animals who will come and go in this story and they will talk. So no more questions on that, you got me?". His dad was not ready to give up on Kittunni.
"Ok Dad, you are the boss. Let's continue", Kittunni replied.
The story telling continued uninterrupted for sometime
"....And thus Sugreeva promised Rama to help him in rescuing Sita from Ravana who..."
"STOOOOP", Kittunni raised his palm.
Mohan could sense smoke coming out of his ears. "What now?", Mohan asked, controlling his emotions.
"So what is this issue between Rama and Ravana? Why are they fighting?", Kittunni asked.
"Ahh Kittunni that is the crux of Ramayana. It is very interesting. You see Ravana stole Rama's wife Sita. Then when..."
"What is a wife dad?", Kittunni interrupted again.
"Oh man, how do I explain the concept of wife to a 5 year old?", Mohan thought.
"You see, Sita was like Rama's toy. Ravana took it and ran away."
"Oh my God!!!Ravana is such a bad boy", Kittunni exclaimed in disgust. He was reminded of his friend Karthik.
"Yes yes. Ravana was a bad boy, Rama was a good boy. Ravana took Sita and ran away. Rama then went and fought with Ravana and got Sita back". Mohan explained whole Ramayana in a single breath. "Finally over!!!", he thought. Mohan let out a sigh of relief.
But for Kittunni the story was not yet over.
"So you are saying Rama was a good boy?"
"Yes"
"And he had a toy called Sita?"
"Yeah something like that"
"And Ravana took it and ran away?"
"Correct"
"And Rama went and fought with him to get his toy back?"
"Exactly"
"THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU BEAT MY CUTE BUMP BLACK WHEN THAT BAD BOY KARTHIK TOOK MY TOY AND RAN AWAY AND I FOUGHT WITH HIM TO GET IT BACK!!!"
Kittunni's face was becoming red with anger.
"That is different Kittunni. Sharing is caring. You should share your toy with others", Mohan replied.
"Ok then tell Rama to share his toy with Ravana instead of fighting"
"What!!! Nooo", Mohan gasped.
"Really? So when Rama fights with Ravana to get his toy back, he is a good boy and when I fight with Karthik for my toy I am a bad boy!!! What screwed up logic is this?"
"That's it, I am going". Mohan closed the book and started walking out
"Where are you going Dad"
"To the post office. I need to parcel this book back to your Grand Mom. This book will not stay in this house for one more second."
