The Dosa Saga

Saturday morning...No office for Shanmugham Appuppa, no college for Manu, no online class for Kittunni...Radhamma's Saturday torture was unfolding in the kitchen. 

From Radhamma's dosa making experience, one's dosa appetite depends on whether the day is a weekend or a weekday. It was Shanmugham Appuppa's 3rd and Manu's 4th dosa running. And no light at the end of the tunnel. 

As if two big tummies were not enough, Kittunni had decided today that a change in the breakfast venue was in order. This served 2 purposes. The minor one - successfully avoid Manjulla's Saturday special Pongal, The major one, in Kittunni's own words - 

"Freedom from the two irritating things who call themselves my parents who has nothing better than to do other than making sure I eat my own food with my own hands. No consideration that this child is just 5 years of age whose soft hands can go rough with continuous self usage".  

To celebrate his freedom Kittunni had ordered for a Hanuman Dosa - a dosa shaped like Hanuman - from the Radhamma Dosa Factory. Kittunni was bitten by the mythology bug ever since Mohan told him the Ramayana story and hence the facination with Hanuman. Kittunni being the Mr Perfectionist, would not settle for anything less than the perfect Hanuman. Kittunni had already rejected many prospective Hanumans that was crafted on Radhamma's dosa stove. If one Hanuman's muscles were not bulgy enough the next one's face was not monkey enough. Radhamma was going crazy trying to make the perfect Hanuman dosa.

Finally after a long struggle Radhamma somehow managed to make a dosa which Kittunni agreed looked very Hanumanly : very muscular biceps, chubby monkey face, hands holding a mace, long tail and finally the most important item - open heart with Ram's face in it, à la a Ram dosa inside a Hanuman Dosa.

Kittunni was happy. He walked to the sofa and made himself comfortable - both hands behind his head, legs stretched out on the teapoy and putting Nick Junior on TV. Chotta Bheem new series was just about to start. This was the cue for Radhamma to start her next chore. She came, plucked out Hanuman's tail and put it into Kittunni's mouth. She then went back to her dosa making business, returning every few moments to feed different parts of Hanuman to Kittunni. Kittunni was living his dream...and Radhamma her nightmare. 

"Manu Anna, you know what?", Kittuni turned to face Manu. "Yesterday I learnt something new. It totally blew my mind".

"Oh yeah. What is that Kittu?". Manu was busy working on his 5th dosa. He was Kittunni's official Chotta Bheem watching partner and had joined Kittunni to watch the new series.

"Yesterday I came to know that when I was small I was in my mummy's tummy! Can you believe that?", Kittunni exclaimed in a very excited voice.

"Yeah", Manu came the uneventful reply.

"Yeah what?", Kittunni asked, disappointed by the lack of enthusiasm in his Manu's voice.

"I am sure you were in your Mummy's tummy", Manu replied, without taking his eyes off Chotta Bheem.

"Good so you believe me. I almost thought you didn't believe me. I was readying myself to bring out forceful arguments in case you didn't believe me".

No response from Manu

"So where were you when you were small Manu Anna?", Kittunni asked.

"Same place", Manu replied.

Kittunni was shocked. "What the hell were you doing in my mummy's tummy", he shouted. Kittunni was very possessive about Manjulla's tummy.

"Oyee I meant I was inside MY mummy's tummy", Manu growled, facing Kittunni for the first time.

Kittunni looked at Manu, scanning him from top to bottom for few seconds. Then he got up, walked to the kitchen where Radhamma for standing busy making her dosas. He then scanned Radhamma for sometime. Then pointing to Radhamma's tummy and facing Manu he laughed and asked

"You are telling me your fat round body came from this teeny weeny thing! HAHAHA!!!"

"From where else do you think I came from Mr Know-it-all", Manu asked angrily.

"I don't know maybe from Laila Aunty's tummy. Her tummy has enough space to accommodate you", Kittunni replied. He looked up, trying to picture Manu inside Laila Aunty's tummy and then started laughing even harder. Laila Aunty stayed one floor above Radhamma's house and was a frequent visitor to her house.

Manu stared at Kittunni for a long time. Then realising that this is a fight he cannot win he went back to watching Chota Bheem. After a while Kittunni returned to his sofa. As Manu watched him get back into the sofa, Kittunni gave a You-Can't-Fool-Me look as a response.

After a while Kittunni started feeling bored. He turned to Radhamma.

"Ammumma, I want Hanuman Chalisa".

Radhamma, who was in the kitchen, almost fainted.

"One more Hanuman Dosa? Kittu I already lost half my dosa batter trying to make the perfect Hanuman for you. There are already 7 Hanumans lying in my waste basket. Now you want me to make you one more Hanuman dosa? That will cost me my entire's month quota of dosa batter", she replied in a frustrated tone. 

"Aiyoo ammumma not Hanuman Dosa, I said Hanuman Chalisa", Kittunni replied.

"Hanuman Chalisa?". Radhamma looked blank for a while. "How do you know about Hanuman Chalisa?"

"I heard Mohan's Mom talking about this"

"Really Kittu! Mohan's Mom? Is that how you address your Grandmom? Where is your respect Kittu?", Radhamma scolded Kittunnni in a stern voice.

"Ok ok. I have so many Ammummas I need some way to tell who is who. Ok let me do one thing. Mohan's mom will be Ammumma number 1, Manjulla's mom will be Ammumma number 2 and you will be Ammumma number 3", Kittunni declared.

"Good"

"So Ammumma number 1 is big time into all this Gita and Upanishad mumbo jumbo. She might be the next Lady Gaga of the spiritual world. Initially I thought Hanuman Chalisa might be name of a food item - you know Chai-Lassi combo in a Hanuman shaped glass or something - but then I thought Ammumma number 1 is not much of a foodie like me so it can't be anything to do with food". 

Kittunni stopped for a second to catch his breath. After two seconds he continued his monologue.

"To clear my doubts yesterday during our nightly video call session I asked her about it. Most of what she told me sounded same as how my enemy Karthick explains Avengers Endgame - didn't understand a thing. But one word caught my attention- Hanuman Chalisa. According to Ammumma number 1, Hanuman Chalisa is a magic pill which can solve all your life's problems".

"Oh so Mr Kittunni's life is full of problems eh?", Manu giggled. 

"Hey no one asked you for your opinion. Don't interfere when high IQed people are immersed in intellectually stimulating conversations. You keep watching your Chota Bheem", Kittuni shouted back, wagging his tongue at Manu.

"So Kittu why do you need Hanuman Chalisa?", Radhamma asked with a smile.

"What do you know about the problems of a 5 year old Ammumma number 3. Online classes, homeworks, peer pressures, eating Manjulla's saturday Pongal - the list goes on and on", Kittunni said.

"Peer pressure? What peer pressure", Radhamma asked with raised eyebrows.

"Leave it Ammumma number 3, its very complicated you will not understand", Kittunni dismissed the question with a wave of his hand.

"Try me", Radhamma edged Kittunni on.

"Ok. So I assume you know what peer pressure is right?", Kittunni enquired.

"I don't", Manu cried out. 

Kittunni looked at Radhamma with a expression resembling something close to pity. "I am sorry to say this Ammumma Number 3 but your son is a total duffer. He doesn't even know what peer pressure is"

"Ok help me understand it Kittu", Manu "begged".

 Turning and facing Manu he explained.

"Peer pressure is when your friends try to put pressure on you when we play police and robber. When you are the robber and when the police is about to catch you the pressure increases. Thus it becomes peer pressure. Understood?"

Manu could hardly control his laughter. "Totally! So how exactly will Hanuman Chalisa solve your peer pressure issues?"

"Well since Hanuman Chalisa is a magic pill like paracetemol, I will eat one Hanuman Chalisa a day and then I can run so fast that the good for nothing Karthick will never catch me when he is the police. No more peer pressure!"

"Great plan Kittu", Manu winked and gave a thumbs up.

"So Ammumma number 3, do you have some Hanuman Chalisa pills with you?", Kittunni asked Radhamma

"Kittu dear, Hanuman Chalisa is not a pill, it is a mantra", Radhamma replied.

"What the hell is a mantra?", Kittunni looked confused.

"Its very hard to explain Kittu. A Mantra is some sacred words which when you keep repeating gives you great strength", Radhamma explained.

"That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard", Kittu refuted. "How can repeating some words give you great strength. If that was the case my mother should be the strongest woman in the world. She keeps repeating Kittu don't do this Kittu don't do that every 5 minutes. Forget getting strength, she gets a big headache at the end of the day". 

"Kittu it doesn't work that way. You are just 5 years old. You are too young to understand this", Radhamma tried to reason.

"Yeah right when you don't know the answer then make fun of Kittunni's age", Kittunni muttered angrily.

With a sigh Radhamma realised that Kittunni was in a bad mood. But she knew his anger would not last long. And soon enough the confirmation shout came from the TV room.

"1 Dinosaur Dosa please"