The great CSE debate

CAUTION : There may be many grammer mistakes in the hindi conversations below.

Many of my friends in my batch are specializing in different fields of computer science namely databases, networks, operating systems etc. Now let's imagine a situation where these guys are talking about their area of specialization. Let's see what happens. The scene is the DMC lab. As usual Adil, Guruji(Akshat), Chotu(Prashima), Riju are some of the many DMCers in the lab.
Suddenly...

Adil : "Aree yaar, databases nehi hota tho ye zindagi bhi kya zindagi hota"
[Dude, what is this life without databases]

Guruji : "Networks kya kuch kam hei...tu internet ke bina jee sakthe ho kya?"
[Whoa as if networks is not good enough...can u imagine a life without internet?]

Adil : "Magar internet ka data store karne ke liye databases chahiye na..."
[But then you need a database to store the internet's right]

Guruji : "Internet hi nehi hei tho tu database ka kya ukaat leega be"
[But what worth is your database if there is no internet at all]

Adil : "Database ke bina tu internet se kya karega...gillii dhanda khelega?"
[But what use is the internet if you don't have a database to save data]

Guruji : "Chal Chotu se pooch lethe hei . Oye Chotu, tu hi samchade isko ki networks bahut badi cheez hoti hei"
[Ok let's ask Chotu about this. Hey Chotu, make this guy understand that networks is a big thing]

Chotu : "Ha"
[Yes]

Adil : "Database bhi phodu cheez hei"
[Databases are also damn great]

Chotu : "Ha"
[Yes]

Guruji : "But networks is more important than databases right"

Chotu : "Ha"
[Yes]

Adil : "Databases is the backbone of any application"

Chotu : "Ha"
[Yes]

Guruji : "Yeh kya ha ha hi bolti jaa rehi hei. Kabhie tho na bhi bol"
[What is this yes yes all the time. Atleast say no once in a while]

Chotu : "Ha"
[Yes]

Guruji : $%#$^%^*$#@#%$

Guruji : "Oyee Somil, tu Adil ko samchao ki networks ko koi hara nehi saktha"
[Hey Somil, make Adil understand that no one can defeat networks]

Somil : "Kuch bhi ho Buchi is the best"
[Whatever is the case, Buchi is the best]

(PS: Buchi is a term used in theoretical computer science)

Guruji : "Burji? Kya burji? Egg burji? Burji kaha se aagaya yaha pe"
[Burji? What burji? Egg burji? What is egg burji doing here?]

Somil : "Abee saale, burji nehi buchi...buchi automata...kya sahi concept hei yaar"
[Idiot, not burji...it's buchi....buchi automata...what a sexy concept dude]

Guruji : "Koi isko yaha se leke jaa. Yaha mei networks aur database ke baare mei pooch raha hu aur ye bol raha hei burji aur bhajji ke baare mei".
[Someone please take this guy from here. Here I asking about networks and databases and this guy wants to talk about burjis and bhajjis]

Adil : "Chal Anand se hi pooch lethe hei. "
[Let's ask Anand about this....]

Adil : "Hey Anand, which do you think is more important...database or networks"

Anand : "Statistically speaking database is important, but probabilistically speaking networks is important too"

Adil : "Err and that means...?"

Anand : "Statistically speaking database is....."

Adil : "Yeah we heard that. Just tell us in plain english what it means"

Anand : "Err sorry I don't know plain english. I know only plain data mining and plain machine learning".

Just then our ex-CR Aaditya walked into the lab.

Guruji : "Hey Aadi, which, in your opinion is more important, databases or networks"

Aaditya : "He looked into the mirror. He saw his reflection. It was looking back at him. Mirrors are like life. It reflects what we actually are"

Guruji : Hey bhagwaan ek aur blog!!!....Maine tere kya bigaada hei be...ek chotta sa sawal hi tho maine poocha tha...oske liye itna bada dhand?
[Oh no not ur blog again!!!..Have I ever wronged you in anyway...all I asked you was a question...and for that so big a punishment???]

Adil (shouting) : "Vinu Vinu..come here"

Vinu : "Yeah?"

Adil : "Dude, we have a problem here. We are having a debate as to which is more important, networks or database. We need an answer to that. What do you think"

Vinu : "I too don't know the answer, but I will ask Alex and get back to you"

Adil : "Alex? Which Alex? Ooo Alex the Phd guy ????"

Vinu : "Naa Alex the ManU guy...as in Alex Ferguson, the Manchester United's manager. There is nothing in the world that he doesn't know. Will mail him today itself"

Adil (looking at Guruji) : "Abhi tuk sirf suna tha ki football logom ko pagal banathe hei...abhi dekh raha hu"
[Till now I have only heard that football can make people go crazy...well now I got to see it in real]

Just then Vishal comes in. This guy has been watching the FRIENDS series for the last 2 weeks, the effect of which is that only english words flow out when he opens his mouth.

Adil : "Hey Vishal, tu batha, kaun sa technology better hei, Networks or Database?"
[Hey Vishal, you tell us which technology is better. Networks or Database]

Vishal : "You asking me which is batter?"

Adil : "Abee batter nehi be, the word is better"
[Dude, the word is to be pronounced as "better", and not as "batter"]

Vishal :"Oo is it then I batter pronounce the word as batter and not batter"

Adil : "Abee better bol"
[Dude pronounce it as "better"]

Vishal :"Yeah right batter"

Adil : "BETTERRRRRRRRRRRRR"

Vishal : "Exactly...Batter"

Adil : "@$#$@!%^&#$#........woh chod, answer bol"
[Getting frustrated...Ok leave that, tell the answer]

Vishal : "Answer...hmm..I batter don't know"

Adil : "Saale bhag yaha se"
[Idiot, GET OUT!!!]

Vishal : "Yeah I batter go"

Suddenly a loud laugh was heard.."HEHEHEHEHHE...."
As usual it was Riju...

Guruji : "Dekh humare PhD bandi. Osko tho patha hona hi chahiye. Osse hi pooch lete hei"
[Look it's our PhD girl. She should be knowing the answer. Let's ask her]

Guruji goes to Riju

Guruji : "Riju ji I have a question to ask. Do you think....."

Even before Guruji could finish asking the question, Riju started laughing again.
Riju : "HEHEHEHE..."

Poor Guruji thought she was laughing at him. He looks down to make sure his zip was closed. Hmm no problem there. Then he looks at Adil

Guruji (whispering) : "Psst Adil...mere pant ke peeche check kar...koi hole tho nehi na"
[Hey Adil, just check the back of my pant and see whether it's torn]

Adil checks and replies in negative. Guruji looked relieved. Then he looks at Riju

Guruji : "Itne bhi hasne ki kya baath hei"
[What's there to laugh so much?]

Riju (Very innocently): "Patha nehi...hehehhehehehe"
[(in an innocent tone) I don't know...starts laughing again]

Guruji : "Hasne ke alawa kuch karthi bhi ho aap"
[Do you do anything else other than laughing???]

Riju : "Patha nehi...hehhehehehe"
[(in an innocent tone) I don't know...starts laughing again]

Guruji : "Yeh patha nehi patha nehi kya hei"
[What do you mean "I don't know"]

Riju : "Patha nehi....hehehehehehe"
[I don't know....again starts laughing]

Guruji (to Adil) : "Aaj H11 ke breakfast laughing gas tha kya???"
[Was laughing gas served for breakfast in H11 today???]

(PS : H11 is the girls' hostel)

Thus the great CSE debate rages on...