Monday, June 15, 2009

Comedy of errors

Disclaimer : Conversations below are mostly imaginary though the incident is real

It's been one week since I have been lazing around in Trivandrum with nothing much to do other than eat, sleep, sleep, eat...not that it was much different when I was in campus, but somehow the eating factor has increased exponentially high, ever since I came home, and still going strong without showing any signs of stabilization. Maybe the thought that after one more week I have to face the hostel mess again, must be acting as a catalyst(and a very strong one) to gulp down whatever good stuffs are available at home. Once I return, it's back to the mess torture once again for the next 6 months.

2 days back my uncle Hari mama had paid me a visit. During the casual talk that we were having, he told me about a funny incident that happened to Kannan, his son and my cousin, recently. Kannan is a first year engineering student.

Hari mama is the district magistrate in a place called Attingal. Being a magistrate, he gets calls from all important people like politicians, bureaucrats, police officers etc. The call he got 2 days back was just another such call. Or so he thought.

Caller : "Hello"

Hari Mama : "Hello, who is this"

Caller : "Good morning sir, this is sub inspector Prasad"

Hari Mama : "O hi Prasad, how are you"

Prasad : "I am fine sir"

Hari Mama : "And how is your daughter"

Prasad : "She is also fine. She is now doing her first year engineering"
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.
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.
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After talking for sometime

Hari Mama : "So is this your mobile number"

Prasad : "Yeah"

Hari Mama : "O great, just hold on a second".

Then shouting to Kannan,

" Kanna, bring your mobile, I need to note a number down".

Kannan bought his mobile.

Hari Mama : "Aah yes Prasad tell me the number"

Hari mama typed in the number into Kannan's mobile and pressed "OK". In his hurry to save the number he didn't read the message for which he pressed "OK". The message was

"There is already a name called Prasad. Do you want to overwrite"

As luck would have it, Prasad, whose number got overwritten by our inspector Prasad's number, was Kannan's good friend.

After sometime Kannan messaged his "friend" Prasad in typical college student lingo.

[in malayalam] "Enthonada chette ravile pani. Choriyum kuthi irupano"
(Wassup idiot? As usual nothing to do other than scratch your back?)

But today, he didn't get any reply

[in malayalam] "Ninte naavu enthada erangi poya pullae. Marupadi ayakkan enthada ninakoru madi"
(Bloody rascal, has someone plucked out your toungue that you can't sent any replies)

Still no reply.
[in malayalam] "Ninte appante cash kondu ala nan ente phone bill adakunne. Ente paisa kalayathe reply cheyada parikki"

(Your dad doesn't pay my phone bill. So stop wasting my money and sent a reply good for nothing country fellow)

Well now we all know, the golden rule in indian democracy is come what may, but never ever insult a police officer's father. Needless to say, Kannan got a call on his mobile the very next instant. Kannan looked at his mobile.

"Aha Prasad calling"

Kannan (Picking up the phone) : "Enthada potta reply cheythudei"
[Can't you sent a reply you dumbass]

Prasad : "aara ithu"
(who is this)

Kannan : "Ninte thantha. Sound maatiyal enikku manasilakulla ennu karuthiyo. Manda"
(Your father. You think you can fool me if you talk to me in a different voice. Foolish fellow)

Now this was more than what an average kerala police officer could take in. He opened up the floodgates of the police dictionary filled with police vocabulary.

Hari mama was sitting nearby reading a newspaper. As he looked at Kannan, he could see a lot of emotions passing through Kannan's face...

It had started with a smile when the mobile rang....2 seconds into the call the smile vanished....then eyes widened....jaws dropped....sweat started dripping down the neck....big gulps of saliva...

Hari Mama looked at Kannan curiously. Kannan was looking scared, with his mobile on his left ear and one finger inside his right ear, as if he didn't want to hear what the guy at the other end was saying. Poor Kannan was repeatedly blabbering some phrases.

"Sheri Sir" [Yes Sir]
...
...
...
"Maapakanam Sir" [Forgive me Sir]
...
...
"Ini avarthikila Sir" [Won't repeat it sir]
...
...

Hari Mama went to Kannan and took his mobile and brought it to his left ear. But the intensity of the vocabulary from the other end was so high that even the hard core magistrate had to remove the mobile from his ear and then clean his ear just after 5 seconds of "knowledge transfer".

Finally Hari Mama talked to Prasad and later on the full cause of miscommunication came to light. Only after Mama told Kannan that everything has been cleared up, did our hero start breathing properly again.



1 comment:

Trojancp said...

ha ha ha ha ha ah adipoli ...... great..... superb...