Skit wits

Disclaimer : High dose of imagination added to real life incidents

We had our dept valfi (ie, validaetory function) for the passing out Mtech and Btech students a couple of weeks back. As a part of valfi, some of us :- Neha, Akash, Akshat, Krishna, Aaditya, Ladha and me, had decided to perform a short skit. The skit's theme was

"What would have been the first day in IIT for some of our seniors".

We had handpicked some seniors, on whom we could make a skit on. Now the director of our skit was Neha. She's one tough director I must say. One growling look from her is enough to get everyone's attention. She had the prepared script in her hand and was telling each of our actors what they have to do.

Neha (to Akash) : "Your character is a music loving guy and has been in IITB for one year now. So when he enters the class, he sees many new students and starts singing 'Aao naye panchiyo' "

Akash : "Magar panchi kaha hei"

Neha : "Oye bhudhu in musical sense, students are equated to birds..uff...am I the only intellect here"

Akash : "Yeah right"

Neha : "Start cameraaaaaaa...action"

Akash walks in singing "aao naye panchiyo"

Neha : "Cut cut cut"

Akash : "Kya hua"

Neha : "Ye kya tha"

Akash : "Naye panchiya"

Neha : "Woh tho teek hei....Magar scene mei entry karthe waqt amul ad ki ladkiyom jaise kamar hilake kyu aa raha hei...seedhe aana"

Akash : "Maine socha thoda sa improvise karoonga"

Neha : "tu improvise math kar re, tu sirf acting kar"

Take 2
Akash walks in singing "aao naye panchiyo"

Neha : "Cut cut cut"

Akash : "Ab kya hua"

Neha : "Robot ki tarah expressionless kyu hei"

Akash : "Aree dono tu hi bol rehi hei. Pehele bolti hei expression zyada ho gaya. Ab bolti hei expression nehi hei. Tu abhi decide kar, tuche amul chahiye ya robot chahiye"

Neha : "In dono ke beech mei kuch nehi milega kya?"

Akash : "Tho improvise karna padega"

Neha : "Tu kuch bhi karle mere baap...bas teek se kar"

Akash improvised. Neha happy. Everyone relieved.

Next was Krishna's entry.

Neha : "Krishna, u have to look at Akash and then tell the dialogue 'Hi, I am Yogi Yogasan'...teek hei?"

Krishna is a Telugu guy, and his hindi is sometimes hard to understand

Krishna : "Bas, itna hi...fikar mathao karao, mei hei nei"

Neha : "Kya"

Krishna : "Bola na mei hei nei"

Neha (looking at others) : "Ye kya bol raha hei"

Sheiku, my roomie, and also a telugu guy, who was standing there watching our practise, clarified "He means 'main hoon na' "

Neha : "Ok good good. Now let's get started. Start cameraaaaa....action"

Take 1
Krishna walks in, takes his seat,looks at Akash

"Hi, I am Yoga Yogasan"

Neha : "Cut cut cut...oye Yoga Yogasan nehi, Yogi Yogasan"

Krishna : "Acha teek hei...mei hei nei, don't worry"

Take 2
Krishna walks in, takes his seat,looks at Akash

"Hi, I am Yogi Yogiasan"

Neha (cheeks turning red) : "Yogi Yogasaaaaaaaaan"

Krishna : "mei hei nei...mei hei nei"

Take 3
Krishna walks in, takes his seat,looks at Akash

"Hi, I am Asan Yogasan"

Neha could take it no more. She starts pulling out Krishna's hair

Neha : "Saale teek se dialogue bol, teek se dialogue bollllllll"

Krishna : "AAAAAAHHHHHHH Yoga Yogasan....no no...sorry.....Asan Yogasan..AAAHHHHHH...no no sorry sorry..AAAAAHHHHHH...Yogi Yogiasan...aree woh bhi nehi...AAAAHHHHHHHH.....Rogi Rogasan...AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Poor guy started losing his hair count exponentially, till he got the name right. By the time he did perfect his dialogue, he was looking almost bald.

He thought, "Why in the heaven's name did I go to the barber shop yesterday for the hair cut. I got one for free today"

Krishna (to Akshat, making sure Neha is out of earshot) : "Ye ladki hei ya kuch aur hei. Kaise kundhal kundhalke maara re mereko"

Next was Ladha's entry.
Neha : "Ladha, after you make your entry and take your seat, you will ask Aaditya a doubt in data mining. He will tell a jumbo mumbo answer. So when you hear that, your face should show an expression which tells the audience that you are not understanding Aaditya's answer. Got it?"

Ladha : "Fine, no probs."

Neha : "Start cameraaaaaa.....action"

Ladha walks in, sits on his chair and asks his doubt. Aadi starts giving the answer. Neha closely watching Ladha's face.

Neha : "Ladha expressionnnnn"

Ladha narrows his eyes

Neha : "More expression"

Ladha raises his eyebrows also

Neha : "more more"

Ladha now holds his breath. His cheeks turn red.

Neha : "moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

Ladha's widens his eyes as much as possible.

Neha : "MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Ladha's cheeks were getting more and more red. Tears falling down his cheeks. Eyes almost popping out. Steam flowing out from both his ears.

Neha : "MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Ladha looked as if he will burst any moment.

Neha : "Cutttttt. Cool Ladha, that was great acting. It looked so natural"

Ladha (after catching his breath) : "O it was nothing. Err I will come back in a moment"

As Ladha was going out, Krishna asked him "How did you do so naturally"

Ladha : "Well, don't tell her. It looked natural because it was natural. Can't hold it any longer. Need to visit the loo."

And the poor guy just ran off.

PS: Though most of the dialogues and actions mentioned above are imaginary, we guys had a blast making the skit. The main credit for making skit a wonderful success goes to Neha. Though she has been demonised in this post, she's actually a very sweet girl. But then sweet girls seldom make for good blog posts, thus the character assasination . Sorry neha ji :). I would like to dedicate this blog to all the guys/gals involved in the skit. Thx one and all, u guys rock