Inner reflections

All my posts till now were of non-serious genre. So this time I thought why not a serious one. Yeah ,me and serious, it sounds oxymoron to most of the people I know. But then hey, lemme atleast give it a try. Through this journey of life, I have encountered many wonderful people who have been my source of inspiration and at the same time my source of fun and happiness. I want to dedicate this post to all of them.

Some of the people I have known at some point or the other, will tell that I am a jovial fun loving person to be with, while some may say I am a non-serious guy, loves teasing people...while others go a little more forward and tell that I am an immature guy who likes making fun of others. It's not always that the people have told me these things, though sometimes they do tell. But mostly it is the impression that I get when I am with them or may have heard from others.

I am one person who cannot survive without friends. Friendship is one thing I treasure a lot. Different people have different methods to express their affection to the ones they love and care. It maybe just a smile for one person, for someone else it may be buying gifts whereas for others it may be a hug and so on. For me it's none of these. I have this peculiar character that the more close I feel to a person, the more I tease him/her. Even now, there are many people, whom I have known for a long time, who doesn't know this or, to put it better, haven't realized it.

But there is one major problem with this character of mine. I always assume that all people are easy-going or take-it-easy characters like me. I often tend to forget, that people are different and that I may actually end up hurting some people's sentiments due to this, though I may not realize it. And this is what hurts me most. And it's very hard for me if I come to know that knowingly or unknowingly I caused hurt to others since,whenever I tease my friends, it's due to the feeling of closeness I feel, and when that ends up hurting that very closeness, I feel guilty about it.

These types of miscommunication occurs mainly due to my crossing the invisible laxman rekha. Though I would love to have that line at infinity, that is not possible in the practical sense. I may not realize it then when it is happening, but later on I somehow get the feeling that I did cross the line. For some close friends, the line to cross is far and I can go a long distance before I reach that limit. But for others, the limit is reached too fast and I cross it even before I realize it.

Some of my close friends really put up with me even after I tease them like anything. One of them is Roshini. She's my neighbor, in my hometown, and is now happily settled in US with her hubby Vikas. She is a great dancer and has a great passion for it. But I tease her precisely on her dancing, making all kinds of silly comments on her different dance steps. I don't know whether it's true, but I had always got the feeling that though I am teasing her, she understands that it's really my way of telling how much I appreciate her dancing. Maybe I am wrong, but she has never given me a chance to think otherwise :).

Some of the closest friends that I have are the ones that I made in college. Yegnesh, Ashok, Murali, Varun, Sabari, Vinod, Rajappan, Komalan (Some are nick names :D ) are some of them and these guys are very close to my heart. When in a group, we make fun of each other and laugh at each one's expense. In fact in the group I end up being the target often, though I am "left alone" when sabari is there in the group :D.

In our class in IIT, 3 people whom I tease a lot is Aadi, Prashima and Meenu. Though Aadi has never told me anything as such, I get the feeling that he sometimes gets hurt by it. Aadi, sorry dude if I have hurt you in any way. Same goes for Prashima. She is one of the most bholi bhali girl that I have come across. I tease for almost anything. If she goes to library I tease her about studying too hard though I too go to the library, if she comes in jeans and top I tease her saying she is trying to impress someone and so on. She does smile through all these comments, but I really don't know whether I have ever crossed the line. As for Meenu, I think she somehow knows how this is how I am since, I guess most of her college friends have the same character :D.

One guy, in our class, who is my baap in the teasing department is Adil. This is one guy whom, I know, I can put my laxman rekha at infinity . I tease him like anything and he gives it back to me with interest. But mostly he wins the contest :D.

Last, but not the least, this post is intended for all those people who I may have ended up hurting with this stupid character of mine. I am really sorry if I have hurt you guys in anyway. Just know that the more hurt you may have felt, that much more I loved you guys.