Birthday goodies

Birthday bumps. Aah what a beautiful concept. The very thought of toasting the guy's ass for the unpardonable mistake of dropping down to this earth. Great right. Well not exactly. Not when it is your ass which is doing all the receiving. Even if you forget your own birthday, there would be a set of "loyal" followers who makes sure you don't so easily forget that you just completed one more year of burdening Mother Earth,each year, every year.

During my initial days in IIT, I used to hear strange noises coming from somewhere in the hostel corridor. The funny thing was that these sounds start coming soon after 12 am. And it was almost a daily affair. Later on I came to know that it is actually a birthday celebration. And this is how it goes...

The birthday boy is first made to "embrace" the wall. Before the "execution" starts the birthday boy is allowed to say a silent prayer

"May my ass rest in peace"

Others also joins him in his prayer, just that their prayers are semantically slightly different

"May your ass rest in pieces"

Then the firing starts.

"BANG"
"AAAHHHH"
"BANG BANG"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"
"BANG BANG BANG....BANG"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Some people use their slippers to do the job while the "professionals" let their legs do the talking. In either case, the birthday guy is a gone case. The firing goes on and on. It stops only when everyone is satisfied that his round convex ass has turns red hot and flat. Soo flat that rotis can be easily cooked on it.

4 years of birthday celebrations in the campus and his future is in doldrums. With a flat ass after graduation, marriage is out of question. Depending on the degree of flatness, it is very easy to identify the person's hostel. Anyone with a concave ass should definitely belong to my hostel. That's for sure. With the number of good "friends" I have made, I have no hopes that I will live to see 2010. Maybe it's a good time for me to make my insurance plans.