Showing posts with label IIT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IIT. Show all posts

The Trip

It was an overcast sky, with the clouds threatening to open the floodgates any moment. But Saurab cared two hoots to what the rain Gods think. His MTP (MTech Project) is over and done and according to him, he has earned his break. But with rest of Mtech CSE students still breaking their heads and laptops to complete their MTPs, poor Saurab had no one to give him company to enjoy his break. But Saurab was determined to make the best use of his break. As usual he approached his all-weather friend Akshat.

"Oyee chal, Vihar lake chalte hei".

Akshat, as usual, put on his "too-tired-after-work" look on his face. You can never blame him. He just finished watching Ram Gopal Varma's ki Aag!!!He had enough torture for a day.

But Saurab was not the one to give in too easily. He threatened Akshat with dire consequences - singing in Akshat's room all day through- if Akshat didn't go with him. Poor Akshat had to give in. It was too much of a punishment for him. Thus Saurab succeeded in persuading his friend to go with him to Vihar lake. But Saurab was not satisfied since he wanted a bigger group. He decided he will drag with him the first few guys he sees on the way. Unfortunately I happened to be one of them, along with Rakesh, Vishal and Nazeem. Now what can these 4 poor souls do if someone comes and theatens to sing the whole day in your rooms. Nothing but give in to his demands. Thus the group was formed and the plan made.

Vihar lake is actually a restricted area for students. This is precisely why all students want to go there atleast once. Rule breaking runs deep in an IITian's blood. Since it is a restricted area, there is a fence which separates our hostel from the lake. Saurab enquired with his friends as to how to reach his destination. He came to know that some smartass had made a small hole in the fence through which students can crawl through to reach Vihar lake. With this ground breaking information in hand, Saurab led the group towards the fence through the hole and finally after 20 minutes or so into the journey we managed to reach our destination.


The scenic beauty, coupled with cool monsoon climate made our day. It was such a relaxing time. After spenting an hour or so, we made our way back to the hostel. Even though the time was around 6 pm in the evening, it had already become dark. We crawled back through the same hole and were almost back in the campus when we saw the H12 student head and some men, whom we had never seen before, standing near the hostel. As we approached the hostel, these guys stopped us. We looked at each other. Everyone had the same expression on their face - clueless. On top of that these guys looked real frightening. I got the feeling that each of them had one kilo of biceps and chest muscles for their evening snacks. Such was their body build.

Then one of them spoke

"Kaha se aa rehe ho tum log".

"We just went to Vihar lake", Saurab replied.

"Aisa kya". He turned to face his fellow-muscle mates. "Talashi lo inke".

We had no idea what was happening. They body searched us. But apparently, from their looks, they didn't find anything they were expecting. Then they confiscated our ID cards and told us to collect the cards from the Dean tomorrow. That is when we realised we were in serious trouble. Vishal, who somehow had a great talent to get on the wrong side of our professors, sighed

"Dean hi bacha tha milne ke liye. Ab ye tamanna bhi poori ho gayi"


No one knew what to do. Everyone looked at Saurab with a face which can be best described as "next-time-enjoy-your-damn-break-yourself-$@#$%%@#$%". Saurab somehow felt the sky was looking beautiful at that moment and kept admiring it till he was sure we were no longer looking at him.

Everyone started thinking about what to do next. Rakesh was the first to chip in.

"How about applying for new ID cards. We can tell them we lost our old ones".

"Dude, we had lost our brains when we listened to a great mind and went to some restricted area, but rest assured they still have theirs"

"Ok how about this. We forget the entire thing and do nothing about this. What can happen", Vishal opined.

"Looks like you don't want to stop with meeting just the Dean. With the kind of talent you have, you should aim for the Institute Director himself".

Thus the brainstorming session went on and on. Ultimately we all decided on the best route possible. Meet the Dean the next day and beg for mercy. Everyone agreed that we will meet up outside Dean's office and then go in together.

The next day me and Nazeem went together to the Dean's office. Throughout the entire journey Nazeem, as usual, was indulging in philosophy and religious thoughts.

"I think we got what we deserved. This is Allah's way of telling us we have wronged and need to repent for this. Rules are meant to be followed and not broken. We should never have gone to vihar lake.".

"How come your Allah never tell you these things on time. He waited till we got caught and then he gave you this advice?".

"Allah does everything for a purpose", he replied.


"Great. I hope his purpose doesn't include both of us getting kicked out from the institute"

We continued walking till we reached Dean's office. Saurab, Rakesh and Akshat were already waiting for us outside the Dean's office. After waiting outside the office for sometime, we were called in. All of us went in without knowing what to expect next. When we entered, the Dean was typing something on the computer, with his back to us.


"So you like to break rules is it", he asked without turning and continuing with his work

"No sir", Saurab replied almost immediately

"Oh you mean you didn't break any rules".

"No sir...err I mean yes sir...I mean not exactly sir...",Saurab started blabbering. He looked at us with a help-me-out-here expression.

Dean finally turned around to face us.

"So why did you go there", the Dean asked calmly

"Sir we went there to enjoy the scenis beauty", Saurab explained.


"Is it. You guys went to Dargarh to enjoy it's scenic beauty???".

"The what....". We started looking at each other's face. No one knew what the Dean was asking. I was even more confused. I slowly came close to Nazeem.

"Psst...what is this Dargah. Is it some restaurant or something". 

Nazeem glared at me with a What-an-idiot look.

"It's a religious place, like a mosque. I guess he thinks we went there and attended the preachings, which maybe of extremist nature", he whispered.


Meanwhile Saurab continued wailing

"No sir, nothing like that sir, please sir, believe me sir, we haven't even heard of anything called Dargarh. We went there to just see the lake. That's all".

"No no this is very serious. I will take action"

"Sirrrrrrr...", Saurab let out a cry. Somehow his cry sounded somthing similar to how our bollywood heroines cry out nehiiiiiiiiiiiii when the hero dies.

"Sir sir please sir, don't take any action sir. I am the only son of my parents"

"O you mean if you had a brother, I could have taken action"

"Yes sir...I mean no sir...please sir don't take action"

This went on for sometime. Finally, and I am guessing he had enough of Saurab's wailing, he let us go with a warning and a petty fine. We were all relieved. We paid up the fine and came out of the office.

Once outside, Saurab was happiness personified.

"Tho bhai log mazaa aaya na. Ab kaha chalna hei". 

What happened next is best kept a secret.

KPL Day 7 - The Fall of the Warriors

Disclaimer : Unusually high dose of masala and imagination added.

KRRRINGGGGGG...

The alarm echoed all over the four corners of H11 hostel.

"Kaun gadha phone kar raha hai itni subah". 

Neha picked up the phone.

"Neha, this is Tarun here. Come to KV grounds at 7 am."

"Acha it was you. Don't worry Tarun, I will be there at 7 sharp"

True to her word she reached the ground at sharp 7 am. As usual, everyone except the lazybones Sree, had reached the grounds.

"C'mon my boys, aaj ye match hamko jeetna hi hai. Woh Sree ka bachha abhi tak aaya nahi kya.Osko do thapad doonga. Aane do osko."

After 10 minutes or so, Sree somehow managed to reach the ground after which the match started.

Day-7 : Semi finals between Ultimate Warriors and "The Strikers"

Toss was won by "The Strikers" and they chose to bowl first. For Ultimate Warriors, Tarun the owner came out for batting along with Uday.

Tarun started blasting and by end of first over Ultimate Warriors had a good start.

But in the 2nd over Tarun got out. He returned back to the pavilion.

Maate felt let down that such an important member of her team got out so early in the innings.

"Yaar Tarun tune fine leg ki aur  maarne ki koshish kyu ki. Straight bat se khelna tha na"

"Sorry Neha", said a dejected Tarun.

Sree looked at Maate with his mouth wide open.

"You know so much cricket? Fine leg?Straight bat?"

"Oyee u r talking to the captain of Indore Women's Cricket team. Mind it."

Meanwhile Kiran and Uday continued batting.

Maate was in full form.

"C'mon Kiran maaro chakka"

Maate was giving cricket tips to whoever cared to listen.

"Kiran ka bat lift utna nahi hei jitna chahiye. Isliye woh teek se nahi khel paa rehe hei. Aur unke bowling na..blah..blah..blah......"

Meanwhile 4 overs up. Now it was Matte's turn

"C'mon Maate, you can do it", cheered the Ultimate Warriors.

"Ya I know I can do it", Maate acknowledged.

20 pushups, 25 situps and 30 strecthes later, Maate was all set to face Ambu, the lady terror from the Strikers' team.

1st ball...Ambu balls...Maate misses....

"Pitch mei bahot patthar hai", Maate reasons, looking at the pitch.
"Oyee tu...", Maate shouts, looking at the nearby fielder." idhar aa...ye sab pathar hata"

The poor guy meekly followed her order. After all, who can dare disobey Maate.

2nd ball....Ambu balls...Maate misses...

"Hmm bahot tez hawa aa rahi hai".

3rd ball....Ambu balls...Maate misses

"Mere ankh mei dhool gaya"

4th ball...Ambu balls...Maate misses...

"Oyee ball mei bounce nahi hai"

5th ball...Ambu balls...Maate misses...

"Bat ki width bahut kam hai yaar"

"Aap agar aagya de to kitchen se bada sa tawa leke aau aapko batting karne ke liye?", Sree asked.

"Oyee chup, concentrate karne de mujhe".

6th ball...Ambu balls...Maate misses...

"Yaar inswinger tha. Kuch nahi kar payi".

Thus Maate completed her wonderful round of batting.

With some wonderful hitting at the end by Sagar, the Ultimate warriors put up a score of  65 at the end of their 7 overs.

The Strikers started their innings with Vijay and Harnath. Sagar started with a great over conceding just around 4 runs.

Maate was inspiring our team members with her cheering everyone from the pavilion (as for 1st 4 overs, girls from both teams had to sit outside).

Then started the downslide. Each over, we were gifting them with wides and no balls. Wides after wides were being bowled by almost all bowlers.

Maate was getting frustrated.

"Oyee kamino, itni subah subah utke aayi hun ye sab dekhne ke liye? Thik se bowling kar re. Inswing kar, Out swing kar, kuch bhi kar, bas unko out kar".


But no use. Along with the opponents' great batting and our wide bowling capabilities, the Strikers were inching slowly but steadily towards their target.

By end of 5 overs, they required 8 to win from 2 overs. Tarun bowling the 6th over...
wide,wide,wide,wide......there...game over...most wonderful way to end a game...

The Strikers win with 2 overs to spare. Ultimate Warriors creates history....for the most number of extras - 30. Now that's what is called an unbeatable record.

My Abyasika experiences

In IITB we have a very noble initiative called Abyasika, whose purpose is to improve the educational standards of the nearby slum children. Though the initiative has been going on for years, I came to know about this only during my 2nd year in IITB. Now it's been around 8 months since I started going for this, though I sincerely wish I could have joined this from my 1st year.

Everyday a batch of volunteers go to the slums near IITB, and help the children with their homework, clarify the doubts that they might have which, I guess, either they are afraid to ask the teachers or may not have understood when it was taught in their class.

It is not at all easy to make a small kid understand what something means, especially kids in the age group of 11-13. These children go to the nearby govt aided public schools where the quality of the teachers are one of the lowest. The  level of education of a kid in these schools is much below the equivalent education level of his or her counterpart in private schools.

The most difficult part in teaching these kids is that what sounds obvious to us are not at all obvious to these small kids. Let's take an example

If I ask one of them to evaluate


  2 +
  3
-----

then they will give me the answer as 5.

But if I write the same thing as

2+3=

then they are unable to give me an answer.

They are unable to understand that both the above formats are one and the same.

Similarly if I write

2*5=

they will give the correct answer but when I rewrite it as

5*2=

they are not able to provide the answer.

Almost the same scenario is repeated when teaching English. Everyday these children are given a set of questions to do as homework by their school teachers. These children are asked to find the answers to the questions and then write both the question and answer 5 times. What these children do is, they just open their guides, search for the question and then copy the answer. Then they write both the questions and the answers 5 times. Homework done!!!

But what is the result? The students know both the questions and the answers by heart, but if I ask them what is the meaning of these questions and the answers, they have no clue.

For example the question and answer may be as follows

Q) How many wheels are there in a bicycle

A) There are two wheels in a bicycle.

If I ask the children the question, I get the answer within 2 seconds. But if I ask them what the question actually means, they have no idea. Thus these children are encouraged to resort to the same old technique of plain rote learning which is the curse of our Indian education system. What is more shocking is that the students do not show an inclination to understand the meaning behind what they are learning. It is not because they are not interested, but because their primary priority is to complete their "homework" otherwise they will receive punishments from their teachers the next day.

But what is amazing is the that even when provided with such sub standard quality education in their schools, there are one or two kids among them, whose ability to grasp and understand things is just mind boggling. Given the right education and help, I have no doubt in my mind that these kids can conquer the world. But the question is will these talents go wasted or can we do something to provide these kids with the right help.

Before I end, I would like to share an essay that a student in Abyasika has written, when asked to write an essay about her favourite teacher. Her name is Deepti.

PS : You can skip the last line of the essay. That line was added by Rishi, who too comes with me to Abyasika :)

Seenu,Teenu and Tree

All characters mentioned below are fictional and any resemblance to anyone, especially to any of my classmates, is purely co-incidental.

This story pays "tribute" to a lady's noble endeavor to increase the language vocabulary of students in a particular institute. Let's call this lady Teenu. The story is about how Teenu tries to teach malayalam to her friend Seenu and how Teenu gets a little help from her classmate Tree Trunker in the process.

Tree Trunker is a first year computer science Mtech student in IIT Bombay. He is a good boy......I mean a very good boy.....I mean a fantastic boy.

(Again I have to emphasize that the characters mentioned have no resemblance whatsoever with anyone alive).

Most of the time Tree is free. So free that his email id itself is tree.is.free@gmail.com. One day, as usual, Tree was whiling away his time when suddenly he saw his classmate Seenu's status message

"Ente aniyante peru Manoj ennu aanu"
(My bro's name is Manoj)

The message was in malayalam. How did she ever learn malayalam!!!!
Tree pinged Seenu

Tree : "You the Malayalam"

Seenu : "Yeah"

Tree : "Since the When"

Seenu : "Since Yesterday"

Tree : "But the why"

Seenu : "Simply"

Tree : "By the whom"

Seenu : "Teenu"

Since Tree was a mallu too, he too decided to teach Seenu something.Tree always believed that one learns best from mistakes. And he decided to apply that concept here.

Tree : "Hey Seenu, you should thank your teacher Teenu for her great sacrifice of teaching you"

Seenu : "But how"

Tree : " Next time when you see her, just tell her 'podi kazhudhe' . In case you want to thank a guy just say 'poda kazhudhe' "

(PS : poda/podi kazhudhe means "Go away donkey")

Seenu :"Oo so what does this mean"

Tree : "It means thank you for whatever you have done"

Seenu : "Hmm podi kazhudhe....sounds so beautiful"

Tree : " Yeah I know..it's nothing. I can give you even more beautiful sentences".

Seenu : "Anyway thanks for your help. Poda kazhudhe".

Tree : "Err...yeah welcome welcome".

The scene changes to the girl's hostel. Teenu and Seenu are taking a stroll in the garden

Seenu : "Teenu, I want to thank you for what you have done for me"

Teenu : (blushing) "Sure go ahead"

Seenu : "Podi kazhuthe"

Teenu : "What!!!" (looking at Seenu mouth opened)

Seenu : "Podi kazhuthe, podi kazhuthe, podi kazhuthe".

Teenu : "Is this what I get for doing all this."

Seenu : "You like it?"

Teenu : "You have no idea girl"

Seenu : "Want more?"

Teenu : "O no no no...had more than enough for the day."

Seenu : "So when is my next class...teacher."

Teenu : "School closed for summer vacations."

Swimming and me

Ever since I came to IIT, I wanted to learn swimming. Why?Well for one, I suck at swimming, the obvious reason being I don't know how to swim. Another reason was that when it comes to water, my body defies the laws of physics. How? Well according to the laws of physics, any round object fully filled with air should float in water. But somehow my body doesn't want to follow this law making my life all the more difficult. Some body eh?

So, armed with all the above "compelling" reasons I had made this grand plan that by the time I graduate from here, Michael Phelps will beg me not to compete with him for the next Olympics. The very next day, after I entered the sacred portals of IIT, I joined the swimming club. Though it burned a Rs.100 hole in my pocket, it bothered me the least. Where else can one go to learn swimming for Rs.100 per semester. Well here ends the happy part of the story. Now starts the sad part.

As soon as I filled up the membership form, I was asked to buy a red cap, which was meant for beginners. So another 100 rupees gone. This red cap, according to the admission officer, was to make sure that the instructors can make out the beginners from the rest. The least I say about that red cap, the better. It had a stupid itching head cover, with 2 long strings from either side which goes down the either cheeks and then you need to tie a knot below the chin. Well if you didn't get the picture correct, then just imagine this : You are made to wear a 2 year old baby's scarf. It made you look like such a buffoon that after seeing yourself once in the mirror with that cap on, you never ever would want to see a mirror again in your life.

Fine whatever. Bearing the "humiliation" I started walking towards the pool, all the time making sure that I kept looking down so that no one sees me with that stupid red cap. I reached the pool. I was about to jump into the pool when someone started poking me on my back. I turned back. It was the instructor. What does he want? O maybe I need to wish him.

"Good evening", I said.

And I turned back to jump into the pool. Again he poked me. Now what.

Me : "Yes?"

Instructor : "Beginners are not allowed in the big pool initially"

Me : "Then where else do I swim"

Instructor : "There".
He pointed towards a small shallow pool of water.

Me : " You call that a swimming pool???"

Instructor : " No, we call it a baby pool"

Me : "Do I look like a baby"

Instructor : "You sure do", eyeing my red cap.

First these idiots give me a baby scarf and now a baby pool.

2 minutes later there I was standing in the baby pool, with a baby scarf, looking here and there, not knowing what to do. I looked at the instructor.

Me : "So how should I get started'

Instructor : "You can start by bringing 2oo ruppees the next class"

Me : "WHY???"

Instructor : 'That's my tuition fees"

I pay Rs.100 for getting membership, another Rs.100 for that stupid cap, bore the humiliation of wearing that stupid cap and now standing in that goddamned pool which bearly reaches till my knee and he tells me that I need to cough up another 200 ruppees to learn swimming. That's it. No more of this tamasha. I decided that I will learn it myself. No help whatsoever. After 8 months what is the end result : I should have paid up that 200 rupees ;(.

Birthday goodies

Birthday bumps. Aah what a beautiful concept. The very thought of toasting the guy's ass for the unpardonable mistake of dropping down to this earth. Great right. Well not exactly. Not when it is your ass which is doing all the receiving. Even if you forget your own birthday, there would be a set of "loyal" followers who makes sure you don't so easily forget that you just completed one more year of burdening Mother Earth,each year, every year.

During my initial days in IIT, I used to hear strange noises coming from somewhere in the hostel corridor. The funny thing was that these sounds start coming soon after 12 am. And it was almost a daily affair. Later on I came to know that it is actually a birthday celebration. And this is how it goes...

The birthday boy is first made to "embrace" the wall. Before the "execution" starts the birthday boy is allowed to say a silent prayer

"May my ass rest in peace"

Others also joins him in his prayer, just that their prayers are semantically slightly different

"May your ass rest in pieces"

Then the firing starts.

"BANG"
"AAAHHHH"
"BANG BANG"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"
"BANG BANG BANG....BANG"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Some people use their slippers to do the job while the "professionals" let their legs do the talking. In either case, the birthday guy is a gone case. The firing goes on and on. It stops only when everyone is satisfied that his round convex ass has turns red hot and flat. Soo flat that rotis can be easily cooked on it.

4 years of birthday celebrations in the campus and his future is in doldrums. With a flat ass after graduation, marriage is out of question. Depending on the degree of flatness, it is very easy to identify the person's hostel. Anyone with a concave ass should definitely belong to my hostel. That's for sure. With the number of good "friends" I have made, I have no hopes that I will live to see 2010. Maybe it's a good time for me to make my insurance plans.

Are we truly IITians?

We IITians are proud to proclaim to the world that we are the best, that we are the cream of the country. But are we really so?Not so, in my opinion. Just being the technological masters is not a sure shot way to proclaim that one is the best. We pride ourselves to be getting the best education in the country, but then are we behaving in a manner befitting that? A big NO. Why? Well read more to find out.

In my UG days, it is a rare phenomenon that there is water supply 24x7 in the college hostel. In fact, in those days there used to be something called water strikes. These strikes were called by the students in the hostel to protest against the lack of water supply during day or night. It often happens that the water supply in the hostel would be disrupted for days together. But in IIT, I have not experienced a single day where there was no water supply. But it is precisely for this reason that water is considered so cheap here and wasted like anything. I can give you so many instances:

1) We have a tap in our wing's bathroom. which needs to be pushed a little harder than an ordinary tap, to close it completely. But why should anyone care about it? The guys here just use the tap and then leave the bathroom without closing it completely. Result? Water keeps flowing all day and goes wasted. Everyday, and I mean every single day, I would end up closing that tap atleast 5 times.

2) In the mornings, when guys are busy brushing their teeth, they simply keep the tap open, as if cleaniness of their teeth depends directly on the amount of water wasted. Same goes for shaving. These guys just keep the tap open and then go on shaving, once in a while putting the blade under the tap to clean it. The better option would be to just open the tap when needed or even better, collect water in a mug and then clean the blade by dipping it in the mug.These guys, who don't realise the value of water, must be taken to places where people walk 10-20 kms to just get a pail of water. But no, that is not right.Why? Because we are IITians and we can do whatever we want and no one cares a shit.

The same things apply in case of electricity also. It seems as if IITians have their hands programmmed such that the moment he/she enters the bathroom, it goes straight towards the switch to put on the tubelight, even if the bathroom might be located in the centre of the sun. During the afternoons there is so much light that one actually needs some instument to reduce the light. Even then one can find all the tube lights on.But then who cares. Why? Because we are IITians and we can do whatever we want and no one cares a shit.

One needs to visit our hostel mess to see the amount of food that gets wasted everyday. Though food wastage during breakfast is not so high, it grows exponentially for lunch and dinner. Though I am not 100% innocent here, I have always tried my best to make sure that I take only that much amount which I would require. And I can say with good confidence that I have been 95% successful in this, though, anything less than 100% is nothing to be happy of. In this regard I must make a special mention of my friend Ajitav, who is very particular that he doesn't waste food. If one sees his plate after he has finished his lunch or dinner, it would be hard to believe that he had food from that plate because it would be so clean and nothing would be left on the plate to indicate that food had been served in this plate. In fact I have great respect for him in this regard and has been trying to follow him.

But then there are some guys who gets great pleasure in wasting food, every single time. It's like as if their life mission is to waste food. Even the pictures of poor malnourished children of other countries,waiting in line with empty plates, plastered all over the mess, fails to make any impact on them. But then why should we care. We paid for the food like anyone else so what we do with the food is our business.Why? Because we are IITians and we can do whatever we want and no one cares a shit.

We have a very beautiful clean campus in IIT.
(We have lots of "Use Me" waste baskets at regular distance, which is a rarity in India. Absence of such waste baskets are one of the main reasons why streets across our country are being littered like anything. This is not to say that wherever there are "Use Me" boxes, the place is like heaven. Atleast it doesn't provide the public with an excuse to litter the streets).

According to me, it is every IITians' responsibility to make sure that it remains the same beautiful campus as it ever was. But then this doesn't even figure in the priority list of some students. So what do they do? They keep spitting on the road ( seeing the frequncy at which some people spit, I really wonder whether a human can produce so much saliva), they urinate on the side roads(Try taking a night stroll in the campus and you can see atleast one such case), throw away used plastic bottles anywhere other than into a "Use Me" basket. Some of my friends are also guilty of one or more of the things mentioned above. Their main excuse is that irrespective of whether they do these things or not the animals that roam around the campus keeps doing all these things and litter the campus, so what's the big deal if they too do it. Frankly speaking, I don't think I will be able to convince these people who wants to compare their activities with that of the street animals. I was under the impression that the one of the main difference between animals and humans were our ability to think. Well these guys really don't think so.Why? Because we are IITians and we can do whatever we want and no one cares a shit.

Smile please

In one of my previous posts, I had written about some of the funny incidents that had happened to me in IIT. Well today, I will be writing about some where I am not the chief protagonist, but was still present at the "crime" scene, when it was unfolding. As usual, the stories getting printed below is a "Garam Masala"ised version.

December 1st, Dec 2008, me and Kukri (real name can't be revealed) was aboard the train heading to Trivandrum. Our first semester was over and we were heading home for vacations. We were travelling by the new "All-coaches-AC-but-no-place-to-sit" Gharib Rath train. We were sharing our compartment with an elderly couple.

Few hours had passed since we boarded the train. Initially we whiled away our time chit chatting about various things that happened in campus that semester. After sometime, we started feeling bored. Then Kukri suggested something:

"Why not watch a movie. We can watch it in my laptop. I have downloaded Yuvraaj (Salman Khan's new film) from the hostel LAN. I was planning to watch it at home with my family, but I guess we can watch it now"

I thought it was a good idea. He took out his laptop and then he started to play the movie.
Suddenly for the first 2-3 seconds only sounds were coming out from the the movie player

"Hmmm aaah oooo oo yeah.........."


We didn't understand what was happening.
Then 2 seconds later the video came up.
Boom!!!!Suddenly we felt someone dropped a nuclear bomb on our heads....the video was a full blown porn movie!!!!

Kukri jumped into action immediately. Within a fraction of second the laptop found it's way back to Kukri's suitcase and there he was sitting giving a fake smile to the elderly couple, who by then were staring at us strangely (wonder why!!!). He was muttering under his breath

'If I ever lay my hands on the son of the ***** who names a porn movie Yuvraaj, I will %$@#%^&* him...."

After seeing all this I was thinking what would have been the situation if Kukri had actually watched the movie at home with his parents.

Our second semester had started in January 2009. As a part of our Mtech course structure, the Mtech students have to perform TA (Teaching assisstant) duties under some professor so as to be eligible for the monthly stipend. I was assigned to Prof Bhujade. I, along with 4 others from CSE Mtech1 (ie, the first year Computer Science Mtechs) had the responsibility to conduct the VHDL lab. We were selected for VHDL lab because we had done a course in the previous semester, by Prof Bhujade, where we had learnt a bit (a very small tiny bit) about VHDL. Our job mainly was to make sure that the 2nd year Btech guys were doing their VHDL assignments properly, in the lab, and to help them out in case they had any issues with VHDL programming.

2 days before the first lab was to begin, there was a change in the TA list. Sriraj, who was the "brightest" TA among us was "handed" over to Prof Sharat due to his "expertise" in various complex applications (website maintainence), way beyond the comprehension of a normal human mind. Thus there was now a "vacancy" for VHDL lab TA. Our CR, Aadi, promptly reacted to the crisis by "appointing" my roomie Sheiku (Sumair) as the lab TA. On learning about his appointment, Sheiku was almost in tears

" Oyee I haven't taken the VHDL course last semester, then why have I been put in VHDL lab. I don't even know the full form of VHDL"

Well the truth was even I didn't know the full form. But then I quickly googled the net and found it before anyone saw me doing it.

We had our first VHDL lab day before yesterday. I was wondering how Sheiku was going to manage the lab. The lab started and students started doing their assignments. After sometime I caught Sheiku busy asking a student, questions about his VHDL code.

"Explain the code"
"What is the significance of this keyword"
"Explain how this function works"
and so on....

After the lengthy discussion, the student asked Sheiku

"Sir is my vivae over"

"Yeah it's done. You have done well. Keep it up".

The student felt happy.Sheiku then comes over to me and whispers

"Poor guy thinks it was vivae. Actually he was teaching me how to do VHDL programming"

Well, certain people do have ingenious ways to learn new things.

After sometime another student called Sheiku.

Student : "Sir, what is a test bench"

Sheiku : " You don't even know what a test bench is? Didn't you brush up your concepts before coming to lab? Very bad. I will not help you, you find it out yourself"

The poor chap looked helpless. He was sure the "all knowing" TA would have helped him out.

Sheiku then walks over to Krishna (another TA) and asks

"Oye what in the world is this thing called test bench"

Thus our hero Sheiku had an eventful TA duty on the first day.

After the first semester results were declared, there was one person who scored a perfect 10 (whew!!!) in our class. His name is Lokendra. Last week it so happened that Lokendra, Adil, me and some of our friends went out to have icecream, as a part of Lokendra's treat. While we were having the treat, Adil was having big big conversations with Lokendra, asking him for tips on how to top the class, secreats of how he got a perfect 10 etc. After the treat was done, we all came out of the shop and were preparing to leave. Just then I heard someone calling me from behind.

"Psst...over here..."

I saw Adil indicating to me to go over to him. I went over to him.

"Oyee what was his name yaar, the one who gave us the treat"

I was a little surprised.

"Lokendra", I said.

Suddenly Adil went over to Lokendra and said,

"Lokendra bhai, thanks for the treat. I always knew you would top the class. You always had it in you. Keep it up"

The way Adil was talking to him as if he had known him for a long time, I couldn't help but smile.

Classmates revisited

Well well well, what have we here. Another post on classmates. Hmm how can it be different from the one that was posted earlier. Hmm let's see, this post is being written after getting a much better understanding of my peers when compared with the last post on them, which was posted just about a month or so after I joined IIT, this post will have new heros, this post will see introduction of heroines since the last post was a all-male movie and last, but not the least, this post will be more ruthless. No one's good deeds/behaviour will find a mention here, since I am not here to give these guys/gals grades. You see I can't help being evil. This post may result in my kidnapping or maybe kick in my ass by the characters mentioned below, but I am taking that risk in the supreme interest of my nation...err sorry blog. It will be a bit long post, so please bear with me. So here we go...

Anand Raj
-----------
This guy should be actually renamed Miner Raj. He is out to learn all the existing data mining concepts in this world. So what does he do? He takes up Data mining, Statistical Foundation of Relational Learning (whew), Graphical models and Web mining courses. Well if you thought that was it, you are wrong g. He's going to take computational biology also!!!!Why? He thinks DNA is full of data and he wants to mine it!!! O someone please save him. Nowdays he evens talks in Data mining language (whatever that is). Just read the below chat that I had with him .

Me : Hey, u know Manav from electrical department.

Anand : Yeah I do.

Me : How much do you know him. I mean is it just hi-bye type.

Anand : Well I have 45% confidence level with 90% statistical importance.

Me :#$@!@#$)$%#@!@#@%$

Aaditya
--------
Aah no improvement here. Same old Aadi boy churning out blog after blog which he claims to be philosophy (but god knows what actually it is), minute after minute, which goes higher and higher over my head each time he posts a new one. But then he still manages to screw up his simple CR duties with amazing frequency and clarity. Wonder how he can do that. And he still has many pending treats which he has yet to honour...grrr.

The lucknow sisters - Ambika and Shubangi
--------------------------------------------
There...our heroines have entered the scene. You may be wondering why pairing is done here. Well the story goes that both of them were actually the first siamese twins to have been born in lucknow. But as luck would have it, now they are seperated (how that happened is still a mystery). So thus the pairing. Well about sister number 1, Ambika, well she has this amazing ability to not study until the last day of the exam and yet top the class. When I asked her how she does that, she said it was simple "just sit through the whole night without sleeping and study the entire thing". And she suggested I should try that one out too if I wanted to top the class. Well I took her advice and did the same. And sure enough I did top the class....from the bottom @#$$@%#^$#. Some advice.
Sister number 2 : This girl is a real mystery. Sample this. She sits in front of the Indian Astronomy class. She listens with so much passion at what sir is teaching, nods at whatever he is telling, furiously writing down notes. At the end of the class when asked how the class was, thus was her reply
" Aree yaar it was soo boring".
What!!! It was boring to you? This is your idea of a boring class...you listen, you write down notes, you keep nodding...O for heaven's sake if it is a boring class then show it in your actions...Go to sleep!!!!Haven't she ever read the rules manual on students' behaviour in class? Clause 56 clearly states that students are expected to express their feelings in the class.

Jayalakshmi a.k.a meenu a.k.a evening-walker-who-thinks-it-is-actually-jogging/running
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This girl has got some serious problems facing her. Either she has fallen for a handsome guy and is out to impress him or she must have got a stern warning from her mom- either way she is into too much exercising nowdays. Walking (she says it's jogging), swimming, trekking and what not. It's another thing that she now eats twice as much food as before. But then hey, someone here is doing some serious slimming down and she needs encouragement. Clap clap clap...

Adil - Ajitav
------------
Well another pairing. Why? Well nothing happens without a reason. I seriously think these guys were husband and wife in their last birth. One day they pull out each others' hair, next day they are all over each other (err I mean as friends. Don't get me wrong here). I sometimes wonder who would have been the husband out of these 2 in their last birth. If I were to hazard a guess then it would be as follows : Adil is into heavy weights gymming and since girls don't usually do heavyweights....well remaining you guys figure it out.

Sriram Kasyap
---------------
If anyone would have told me that Newton has taken a punarjanm (rebirth), then I could have answered "I knew it". Nothing else can explain how he keeps blabbering about God knows what all. Einstein would be crying in his grave right now, thinking of all the theories which he failed to come up and which now comes out of this guy's mouth the moment we sit down to have our lunch. His favourite timepass being computer programming, I shudder to think what material his dreams are made of. Not that I am interested. Just that keeping a tab of that would have easily given a PhD guy a thesis. Lucky he is not much interested in data mining, or else God knows what would have happened had Goliath (Anand: height 225 cm???he does looks so) crossed swords with David (Sreeram: height 125 cm???).

Sriraj Paul a.k.a CP
-------------------
Can't tell you guys the full form of CP, it is a secret only few knows, so let's keep it that way. Well here's a guy whose concept of an english rock song is "Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way...". He has this amazing ability to ponder over problems which never exists!!! Sample this

Some of us were watching a movie. Suddenly the player stopped playing. Sriraj kept looking at the screen for a long time. The remaining guys were wondering what was happening

Me: "Oyee what are you doing"

Sriraj : "Hmm I am not able to find out why the VLC player stopped playing. Maybe the file is corrupt. Or maybe we need to upgrade the player. Or maybe there may be it is a virus. Or maybe..."

Me : "Or maybe the first CD is over and you need to play the 2nd CD. Play the damn 2nd CD idiot"

Sriraj : O yeah right...

Well I wanted to write about some more people, but I guess this is more than enough for one post. In case any of you hear about any kidnapping or murder in the campus in the next few days, well you can find my home address with the hostel warden in hostel 6. Please do inform my family.

Second semester starts

A new year starts :-)
Vacations done with :-(
New semester starts :-((
Back to old ways of losing sleep over assignments and projects and screwing up quizzes :-(((((...(

Well this sums up my emotions as I enter my 2nd semester here in IIT Bombay.
This semester we have to take 4 courses as credit along with one seminar. Prof Dhamdhare, our faculty advisor, had agreed to guide me for my seminar, so the headache of seeking seminar guides was over. But going by his reputation of strictness and hard to please nature, combined with my lazy nature, we sure are going to have some fun in the days to come :D.

I had already decided that I will take up an R&D project this semester, instead of a course. It gives me several advantages.

1) No end sem and mid sem exams
2) No quizes and assignments
3) Extra 3 non-lecture hours per week, which will be fruitfully, carefully and productivily used in bed.

But there is no such thing as free lunch. So the cons are

1) Several research papers to read up. Feels almost like another seminar.
2) Needs to show some "productive" result at end of the project.

Well let's see how it goes.

So 1 down, 3 more credits to be taken.
Next one I had in mind was a course called "Embedded Systems Design" which was offered by the electrical department.

Well as some wise person has said (obviously me), someone who doesn't know one's own backyard, shouldn't go and start digging in someone else's backyard.
Ok bad attempt at philosophy.
It was supposed to mean, a computer science guy, who is not even thorough with his own courses, should never dig his head into other department courses, especially electrical. This was the moral of the story I learned after my first class in this course.
The prof was shooting out OPAMs,Transistors,CMOS,IC at everyone. All the electrical guys were having a great time while poor me was drowning in a sea of ICs and transistors. But I was determined to credit this course. It's not everyday that you get to screw up a course offered by another department.

So 2 down, 2 more to go.
I had actually narrowed down my options to 3 courses now, out of which I have to choose 2. I had the option of either crediting 2 courses and doing a sit through (which means just attending lectures and no need to write any exams or do any assignemnts) the 3rd one or just take 2 courses this semester and do the 3rd course in the 4th semester (same courses are offered in the alternate semesters).

The courses were:
1) Program Analysis
2) Indian Astronomy (This semester we are supposed to take a non-CSE course called institute elective. The electrical course mentioned above is a different case in that even CSE students can credit it)
3) Mathematical foundations of formal verification (MFFV)

I had attended the first class of both Program Analysis and Indian Astronomy and wanted to credit both of them. But I had almost made up my mind to take up MFFV. One because it was going to be taught by Prof Supratik. He was one of the best profs in our dept and I had already taken a course last semester under him, called "Formal Specification and Verification of Programs (FSVP)". I loved his teaching soo much that I had made up my mind to take whatever course he offered this semester. So it was with a very heavy heart that I attended the first class of MFFV. I really wanted to credit Indian Astronomy this semester, but now it seems a remote possibility since I had made up my mind to credit Program Analysis. Well what the heck, I could always take it up in the 4th semester.

Supratik sir started taking the first class of MFFV. There were around 30 people in the class

"Hi all, this is the first time I am offering this course. "

Hmm good...


"I am surprised to see so many of you. I had planned this course keeping in mind a class strength of around 10"

Count me in...


"Maybe after I tell you the pre-requisites for this course, you all may get a more clear picture of what I intend to teach in this course"

Nothing is going to stop me from taking this course...

"The students who take up this course must have a good understanding of Automata theory, Propositional Logic, Discrete Structures. It would also be good if you take up, side by side, the course taken by Prof Bharat Adsul called 'Special Topics in Automata' "

Great!!!!! To take this course, I need to take up 4 other courses!!!!

Now I was in 2 minds whether to take it up or not. Maybe if I put in a little more effort, I may be able to manage it.

Then he started teaching the first chapter. That did it. I knew which course to take now.

At the end of the class Vinu came up to me and asked

"Hey you look so happy. You taking this course?"

"Yahooo I can take up Indian Astronomy now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So that's it. I had chosen my courses. Hopefully I can scrap through this semester also. All the best to me.