Swimming and me

Ever since I came to IIT, I wanted to learn swimming. Why?Well for one, I suck at swimming, the obvious reason being I don't know how to swim. Another reason was that when it comes to water, my body defies the laws of physics. How? Well according to the laws of physics, any round object fully filled with air should float in water. But somehow my body doesn't want to follow this law making my life all the more difficult. Some body eh?

So, armed with all the above "compelling" reasons I had made this grand plan that by the time I graduate from here, Michael Phelps will beg me not to compete with him for the next Olympics. The very next day, after I entered the sacred portals of IIT, I joined the swimming club. Though it burned a Rs.100 hole in my pocket, it bothered me the least. Where else can one go to learn swimming for Rs.100 per semester. Well here ends the happy part of the story. Now starts the sad part.

As soon as I filled up the membership form, I was asked to buy a red cap, which was meant for beginners. So another 100 rupees gone. This red cap, according to the admission officer, was to make sure that the instructors can make out the beginners from the rest. The least I say about that red cap, the better. It had a stupid itching head cover, with 2 long strings from either side which goes down the either cheeks and then you need to tie a knot below the chin. Well if you didn't get the picture correct, then just imagine this : You are made to wear a 2 year old baby's scarf. It made you look like such a buffoon that after seeing yourself once in the mirror with that cap on, you never ever would want to see a mirror again in your life.

Fine whatever. Bearing the "humiliation" I started walking towards the pool, all the time making sure that I kept looking down so that no one sees me with that stupid red cap. I reached the pool. I was about to jump into the pool when someone started poking me on my back. I turned back. It was the instructor. What does he want? O maybe I need to wish him.

"Good evening", I said.

And I turned back to jump into the pool. Again he poked me. Now what.

Me : "Yes?"

Instructor : "Beginners are not allowed in the big pool initially"

Me : "Then where else do I swim"

Instructor : "There".
He pointed towards a small shallow pool of water.

Me : " You call that a swimming pool???"

Instructor : " No, we call it a baby pool"

Me : "Do I look like a baby"

Instructor : "You sure do", eyeing my red cap.

First these idiots give me a baby scarf and now a baby pool.

2 minutes later there I was standing in the baby pool, with a baby scarf, looking here and there, not knowing what to do. I looked at the instructor.

Me : "So how should I get started'

Instructor : "You can start by bringing 2oo ruppees the next class"

Me : "WHY???"

Instructor : 'That's my tuition fees"

I pay Rs.100 for getting membership, another Rs.100 for that stupid cap, bore the humiliation of wearing that stupid cap and now standing in that goddamned pool which bearly reaches till my knee and he tells me that I need to cough up another 200 ruppees to learn swimming. That's it. No more of this tamasha. I decided that I will learn it myself. No help whatsoever. After 8 months what is the end result : I should have paid up that 200 rupees ;(.