The X scare

In our first semester we had an assignment based on a tool (let's call it X) . The stupid thing was soo confusing that most of us had to spent some sleepless nights breaking our heads over this. When we realized that we were going to go nowhere this way, we decided to split the tasks among ourselves and each person would try to solve one task each instead of everyone trying to do the same thing. Thus when someone somehow finds out how to do a particular task, he shares his method with everyone else.

In this way we somehow managed to submit the assignment before the deadline. This was just before the Diwali holidays. Soon afterwards the Diwali holidays started and most of us went home, had a great "break" from studies and returned afresh (Some poor guys like me had to stay back due to the long time it will take to reach our hometowns).

A few days after the classes resumed, some of us were having our lunch in the hostel mess. Suddenly Akshat said

"Hey did you hear that there are 24 copy cases that were caught for the assignment on X"

"Whoa whoa when did you hear that. How come no one else heard it"

"Aree looks like one of the TAs had told someone that such a thing happened"

(TAs are Teaching Assistants who do most of the assignment corrections on behalf of the professor)

"But we did not copy right? We only had some "healthy" discussions and shared "tips" on how to do the damn shit"

"Yeah right tell that to the TAs."

"Also how can those guys find out about it. It's almost impossible to just look and tell since doing a manual comparisons of all the files in an X application is almost impossible due to the very large number of files in X."

"Looks like they have used some high funda software for doing it"

"These guys have softwares for catching copy cases????? Man that sucks"

After this, all the guys started speculating on who these unfortunate 24 people were.

I looked at Adil

"Tu tho gaya beta".
[You are busted dude]

Adil : "Oyee maine kab copy kiya be"
[Oyee, When did I copy]

Me : "Haha tu nehi kiya tho kya hua, mere code mei tera code bhi hei na"
[So what if you didn't copy. My code contains ur code also]

Saurab : "Muhahahahahaha....muhahahahaha....."

Me : "Oyee tu kyu hass raha hei be saale...tera code bhi hei mere code ke andar"
[Why are you laughing idiot. My code contains your code also]

Saurab : "Saale haram khor, khuthe,lafange....."
[Calling foul words]

Rohit : "Bechare log...chu chu chuu"
[Poor people]

Me : "Rohit bhai, maaf karna, tera bhi code liya hei maine."
(Rohit my brother, forgive me .I have your code also)

Rohit : "Saale tu kissi ko bhi choda nehi hei kya."
(Idiot, haven't u spared anyone?)

Me : "Aree mei kya karu. I spent 3 whole days on this dumb thing. It was soo confusing and irritating. I coded two or three things and then I borrowed the rest. I really don't think any human being created X.. Must be the evil work of aliens from other planets. They must have made this grand plan to give each human being a X assignment to do as homework and in the process of doing the assignment, the human race will become extinct. Inorder to prevent such a mass extinction I thought maybe atleast I should try not putting too much of stress on myself. I need to save the world you see."

Rohit : $#@$^$*^%^$#@

Nothing much anyone could do other than wait for the demonstration day when we had to demonstrate our X application to the TAs. Well atlast the D-day came. Everyone sitting in the lab, tensed, waiting for the TAs to arrive. Rumours flying thick and fast as to who were the 24 genius guys. Everyone came up with their own list of 24.

The TAs came. Everyone was looking at their hands.
It was empty.
Hmm guess the list is in their pockets. Wonder when they are going to take it out.
Each person started demonstrating their X masterpieces.

Suddenly one of the TAs started moving his hand towards his pocket.
Oh no, this is it!!!!
The TA's hand reaches the pocket...goes inside...some shaking inside the pocket...more vigorous shaking......then the shaking stopped...Oh no Oh no....looks like the hand found what it wanted....the TA's hand got into reverse gear...it's coming out..slowly...really slowly...and then..it came out...and we saw it open mouthed...
a dirty handkerchief!!!

O man some people are really gonna have to deal with some serious heart attacks before the TAs leave the lab.

Ohoo...there it's happening again...his hand...it has started it's forward motion again...and this time it's going towards his back pocket....Oh great the TAs must have kept the list in their back pockets owing to the "security" concerns following intelligence reports that some guys from our batch may try to destroy the list...the hand reaches his back pocket..and then into it...and..and...is moving up and down????...now why would he be doing that...wait a minute....Aah...the poor guy was just scratching his ass...boy another scare.

After some hair raising moments, when each time the hands goes anywhere close to the pockets our hearts almost came into our mouth, the TAs completed their evaluation and left.
Everyone was looking at each other.

"Aree then what about the list ???"

"Lagtha hei kissine ullu bana diya re"
[Looks like someone has made a fool of us]

"You mean some asshole made up this story and gave me countless sleepless nights!!!
If ever get my hands on that egg head moron who came up with this story of copy cases, I will...I will... &$@!@#^*!@#"